Flex Path submission for WPI - I have created a portfolio exhibiting my artwork and sewing projects

These are my two Flex Path essays I am just touching up. The deadline is in 4 hours so any quick suggestions are appreciated! Thank you :)

PART 1: If you are not submitting test scores but rather opting to submit Flex Path materials, please use the space below to describe your Flex Path Submission:

For my Flex Path submission I have created a portfolio exhibiting my various artwork such as traditional art and sewing projects.

Included in the traditional art portion are some of my strongest and most recent compositions. Each have been created using different mediums such as watercolor, charcoal, and pencil. Since childhood I have had a strong interest in the arts and an affinity for capturing detail. What all three pieces have in common is that they were captured from life, and not from a photograph. For example, I used a mirror to draw my self-portrait. I believe that this allows the audience to see my own perspective reflected in my work.

Secondly, I included sewing projects I have hand sewn, machine sewn, or a combination of both. Since starting a sewing class last year, I instantly developed a passion for this new hobby. It is so satisfying to construct and design something that is fully functional. People have even started asking me sewing advice including a 10 year old neighbor with whom I helped make a soft pouch for her guinea pig. For my next project, by commission from a friend, I will be making an A-line style, Valentine's Day themed dress. I am excited to broaden my sewing abilities and hope one day to open a small business selling my creations during spare time.

PART 2: If you are not submitting test scores but rather opting to submit Flex Path materials, please use the space below to tell the admissions committee why you think this submission is a strong reflection of your potential for success at WPI.

-coming in later post-

Try to deepen the meaning of the reasons why you chose to submit a portfolio for your application instead of your test scores. Try to explain why you feel that your work speaks better for you than any grades you can submit. Then offer an insight into the reasons why you chose to to submit a self portrait, and hand sewn materials. The explanations you have right now are too shallow and narrow minded in expression. What you need to do is expand upon the explanations by opening yourself up to the admissions officer and letting him feel the emotions, sentiment, and thoughts behind the works that you chose to submit. Offering an opportunity to the admissions officer to see who the person is behind the work is the key to making your portfolio more effective in stating your case for admission.

Thank you for your suggestions. I was having a hard time adding details because the common app had a word limit. I just found another way to submit it without a limit so I will work on it.