Hi guys, my deadline is impeding (in two days..), and I really need feedback/comments for my essay. Please help me out :) Thank you ! (It's 49 words longer btw)
He turned the light off and lied down on his bed. Trumpet began playing and soon piano, violin, timpani and trombone tied up to make a full harmony. His all time favorite Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto in B Minor was playing on the radio, and a strange force compelled a sensitive seven-years-old boy to think and reminisce. Soon enough, he was snoring. It was my typical bedtime.
But my bedtime routine all changed after I entered elementary school. Elementary school was a place of conformity, where I had to follow the strict rules: blue is for guys, red is for girls; classical music is for old people, pop music is for young people. Apparently I was a "little grandpa" if I enjoyed listening to classical music. Though it was strange why anyone would not listen to this great genre, as I grew older, I found myself shrinking and conforming to the norm before the society completely shut down my self-confidence and dignity.
Eventually I conformed. I found myself averting from classical music, playing pop music station during bed time, and trying to color everything in blue to become an ordinary boy. Occasionally, I secretly put on my headphones and listen to my favorite Tchaikovsky piece. Then again, I put the headphone down, in the fear of someone asking me "what are you listening to?" I was not prepared to confront the mockery and the embarrassment- until I met Lang Lang.
I first met Lang Lang at his piano concert with my aunt's ticket. But it was not an ordinary one. As an interlude, he played the Chopin's Black Keys with an orange. When he played Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto, his facial expression reminded me of a pig. He constantly stood up and down as if he was a marionette. I laughed, questioning his professionalism and his fame. Despite my boorish behavior, Lang Lang completed his sonata flawlessly, received an overwhelming standing ovation. I was no longer smiling, but gazing in amazement. Suddenly, he was my hero, who overcame the embarrassment of his eccentric performance, then turned it into an exceptional performance, and even acclaimed by the norm as an added bonus.
From that day on, I have been modeling after Lang Lang, to be unique, not ordinary. I have been gradually becoming my seven-year-old self again, listening to the genre of music I love shamelessly and proudly. And I have even extended this influence to my obstinate, pop-loving friends to grow interest in the classical music realm. With the gained self-confidence and even leadership, coupled with my love for music, I founded various volunteer programs such as the musical therapy program at a local hospital, and the music tutoring program for the underprivileged kids. Though some of my peers warned me, "Why waste your time? There are plenty other volunteer opportunities out there." But I remained constant and have been running the programs successfully, and even gained recognitions from the media as an added bonus. Ultimately, I have become an owner of myself, not a follower of others, and I have learned to pursue my own field of passion and take pride in it. Now, I put myself to sleep, listening to Lang Lang's rendition of Tchaikovsky, reflecting on his influence. Soon enough, I am snoring. It is my typical bedtime. (549)
He turned the light off and lied down on his bed. Trumpet began playing and soon piano, violin, timpani and trombone tied up to make a full harmony. His all time favorite Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto in B Minor was playing on the radio, and a strange force compelled a sensitive seven-years-old boy to think and reminisce. Soon enough, he was snoring. It was my typical bedtime.
But my bedtime routine all changed after I entered elementary school. Elementary school was a place of conformity, where I had to follow the strict rules: blue is for guys, red is for girls; classical music is for old people, pop music is for young people. Apparently I was a "little grandpa" if I enjoyed listening to classical music. Though it was strange why anyone would not listen to this great genre, as I grew older, I found myself shrinking and conforming to the norm before the society completely shut down my self-confidence and dignity.
Eventually I conformed. I found myself averting from classical music, playing pop music station during bed time, and trying to color everything in blue to become an ordinary boy. Occasionally, I secretly put on my headphones and listen to my favorite Tchaikovsky piece. Then again, I put the headphone down, in the fear of someone asking me "what are you listening to?" I was not prepared to confront the mockery and the embarrassment- until I met Lang Lang.
I first met Lang Lang at his piano concert with my aunt's ticket. But it was not an ordinary one. As an interlude, he played the Chopin's Black Keys with an orange. When he played Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto, his facial expression reminded me of a pig. He constantly stood up and down as if he was a marionette. I laughed, questioning his professionalism and his fame. Despite my boorish behavior, Lang Lang completed his sonata flawlessly, received an overwhelming standing ovation. I was no longer smiling, but gazing in amazement. Suddenly, he was my hero, who overcame the embarrassment of his eccentric performance, then turned it into an exceptional performance, and even acclaimed by the norm as an added bonus.
From that day on, I have been modeling after Lang Lang, to be unique, not ordinary. I have been gradually becoming my seven-year-old self again, listening to the genre of music I love shamelessly and proudly. And I have even extended this influence to my obstinate, pop-loving friends to grow interest in the classical music realm. With the gained self-confidence and even leadership, coupled with my love for music, I founded various volunteer programs such as the musical therapy program at a local hospital, and the music tutoring program for the underprivileged kids. Though some of my peers warned me, "Why waste your time? There are plenty other volunteer opportunities out there." But I remained constant and have been running the programs successfully, and even gained recognitions from the media as an added bonus. Ultimately, I have become an owner of myself, not a follower of others, and I have learned to pursue my own field of passion and take pride in it. Now, I put myself to sleep, listening to Lang Lang's rendition of Tchaikovsky, reflecting on his influence. Soon enough, I am snoring. It is my typical bedtime. (549)
