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The frustration and pressure was killing me; I just couldn't get it right

shmore 1 / -  
Nov 6, 2013   #1
UC Prompt 2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, or accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does this relate to the person you are.

I'm writing my UC essay, it'd be awesome if anyone you can edit it. Thanks!

The frustration and pressure was killing me. I just couldn't get it right. My cousin sister was already done, and I was still working on my disproportionate drawing. We both were working on a drawing from a recently watched movie, Hanuman, a courageous Hindu god. My cousin had finished two drawings which were picture-perfect and extremely neat while I was struggling to fix a very large head with rigid lines on my paper. Both my cousin and I, exhibit the family talent of drawing and painting, but at that very moment, I felt like a misfit. Not only was I already uncomfortable to draw next to an expert like my cousin, but I also was pressured while she was watching my failed attempts.

Drawing and painting has been my passion since I was a small girl. Whether it was summer camp activities, school competitions, or homemade greeting cards, I always managed to add art in my work. Art was just a means of pleasure to my younger self; however, it has become something more than that now. It allows me to feel relaxed and at peace; to capture nature's extravagant beauty within a canvas; and lastly, to express myself through ways that even I'm not conscious about. Over the years of development, my view of the world has changed. I see different shades of yellows and oranges in an ordinary sunrise; I see individual strokes of a paint brush, the light source, and the color palette on a mountain; I see the detailed work that has been put into creating this beauty.

This passion towards art exists throughout my family. Drawing and painting has become a way of bonding within the family, especially during our projects for the Ganpati festival. Each year in India, we created a different-themed decoration during the religious festival and placed the idol within it. We would all work on parts of it and this is where some of the competition amongst us cousins would be visible. Both of my cousins are older than me, much advanced than me in drawing and painting, and consequently, they would get the exciting parts of the decoration while I would get to paint small circles. The competition wasn't only to get to the level at where my cousins were, but it was also to be true to the title my family has gotten because of its talent. I had to prove myself to become a true More and the only way to do that was flourish my abilities.

Art is very close to my heart and it very important for me to carry this tradition of the family to future generations and to do so; I have to develop my skills so that they are valuable enough to be passed ahead. My struggle with Hanuman's picture is an experience which I can look back to and reflect upon my development and ensure myself of my potential. It has allowed me to realize that if I overcame that hurdle, I can easily overcome the hurdles I have now by continuing the hard work that I have been doing over these years.
bongobl 2 / 3  
Nov 12, 2013   #2
Wow this is really great. I really love how you talked about the Indian tradition and the projects for the Ganpati festival. It shows something unique that not all artists do. Your hook is also really great too.

One thing I have to say is this: I am also applying to UC's this year and I have read many example essays and there are SO MANY of them that say stuff like this "And this event has helped me realize my full potential," or "Now I learned to continue working hard no matter what."

Maybe it's just me but I think it's very commonplace. I think it appears in ur essay a bit. But it's nothing too major.

Overall it's really great? I'm about to post my essay, Do u mind looking at it?

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