The Future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams- Brandeis Supplement

Please edit my supplement for Brandeis.
Why would you like to attend Brandeis? ( Word Limit : 250)

"The Future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams". Believing in myself, I don't worry about future; the future will find me out if I will remain on my track. Brandeis is the right fit which can help me to be on my track. I like to learn from experiences, and it is the best way of learning. Brandeis's combination of being world class research university and intimacy and accessibility of a small liberal arts college with a diversity of students inspire me to become a Brandeis fellow. My dream to contribute in the field of technological entrepreneurship can only be fulfilled by doing a major in Computer science and Physics. When I took a look over Brandeis's Computer Science and Martin A. School of Physics, I became overwhelmed with the tremendous amazing courses. I wish I could start the courses right now.

Service to the community is my only happiness which significantly inspired me to do different community service works. From this point of view, I was finding something by which I can contribute to the community. Fortunately, I learned about the 'Waltham group' which can give me the opportunity to continue my happiness for contributing to society. Brandeis's commitment to the international community helped me a lot to choose Brandeis University. I want to discover the multicultural world being a participant of intercultural center. The features of this center fulfilled my mind with its fabulous activities.

I believe becoming a part of Brandeis University, I will be able to discover myself, motivate myself, and prepare to take the responsibility of my own promise, social commitment. I believe Brandeis is the best choice for exploring the world with new and adventurous experience which will be the path in fulfilling my dream.

Brandeis's combination of being world- class research university and intimacy and accessibility of a small liberal arts college with a diverse of studentsstudent body inspires me to become a Brandeis fellow.

A diversity of students doesn't sound right to me, but I may be wrong :)


I took a look over Brandeis's Computer Science and Martin A. School of Physics, I became overwhelmed with the tremendous amazing courses., and I wish I could start the courses right now.

There is no significant error; some minor things that I would change but mainly due to personal preferences. I think overall this essay would work; you use specific examples to demonstrate your interests and that you have done quite a bit of research on your part.

Good luck!

Thanks ILOVEYOGURT.
Please free to edit in your own way. That would be helpful to me .

Thanks!

Providing service to the community makes me happy, and this passion inspired me to do a variety of community service works.
- "my only happiness" sounds a little exaggerated to me...


I mean... if you read this... "helped me a lot" is very vague and general; how about making it more specific and enthusiastic?


again, a little general, name a few activities maybe?

Are you tight on word count? I realize that I am pushing you to be more specific, which can be REALLY HARD given tight word count, but also realize that a lot word counts can be saved if you cut out the vague phrases... Let me know if this helps :)

I am dying with these essays too... So good luck!!!

Thanks! Actually I was also thinking about that. By the way, Thanks a lot :)