They say eyes are windows to the soul, and a smile is beauty unmatched but it's the hands that tell my story.
Fearless, you talking about this? well. try making it more of a quote...Who are they? what is the actual quote? why do you use it? explain it if you want to use it.
Nothing I have ever seen can measure up to the things, lives, and hearts that I have or plan to touch.
nothing really wrong..just that it's rather vague. the notion of never seeing anything better than what I can do/have done sounds arrogant. maybe rephrase to make it sounds more
you.
My palms have skimmed over pages of a thousand words, leaving a trail only for my eyes to follow.
what do you want to tell by saying this? that you read a lot? or that you write a lot? please explain more and talk less it abstract terms. It helps you stand out, instead of just obscure ideas.
These fingers have been used to pluck the strings of my passion, listening to a melody of my own creation.
you mean you write music? I'm thoroughly confused.
Like my mind, they are always at work.
Ok...So I like the effect of this paragraph...but it's much too abstract. it sounds prosaic and the effect of your hands loses its quality
Maya Angelou "You shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back."
AH. this quote...you don't talk much about it. and you don't have much room to..maybe paraphrase like you did earlier. or make this an earlier topic and progress from there.
Well I've got my game face on, and I'm ready for the pitch
Informal a bit
These hands are different from anyone else's because they are attached to a person ready to leave a positive impact on the world, and she goes by the name: ------ ------.
LOL. you seriously thinking about writing that into the essay? I'd advise against it, unless you really talk about the positive impacts that you are willing to do. and make these impacts sounds reasonable or at least possible.
Comments: so your hands, they are working hands, hands that will make a difference, yea? tell how, where you have used them as such, etc...I like this topic, haven't seen it tho :X again. less abstraction, more substance to substantiate the uniqueness of thou hands. :]