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Gaming World"; University of Michigan - Community/ Unique qualities

TheStudent101 1 / -  
Feb 1, 2014   #1
With a school as small as my own, there is little opportunity for communities to develop within it as there are not enough people of similar interests to create a group made up of more than three people. Thus I began to search for communities online and eventually found my place within one. In this community of gamers, I started out just as everyone else, a kid wanting to have fun. As I began to meet and play with a large, diverse group of people, I've developed friendships which have lasted several years and still continue today. These online communities became a large social aspect of my life.

Gaming communities oftentimes host their own servers for popular games on which their members can play with each other. The ins and outs of game servers are unknown to most players, who do not care about such aspects of the games. However, having people to setup and maintain them is a necessity. Whenever my community lacked such people, I offered to take the job. In this position, I collaborated with other developers and system admins to code plugins and software for the servers. We communicated with our members and attempted to create an optimal player experience. To this day, I continue to maintain the servers and resolve any errors or issues they may have. (222 Words)

Essay #2 (Required for all applicants. 500 words maximum) Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?

At the age of eight, I started to modify HTML and CSS templates for my pets' pages on a game called Neopets, thus birthing my interest in programming. Once I was competent, I began designing my own templates and layouts for other friends on the game. Henceforth, I started studying computer programming independently. At the age of thirteen, not long after the release of the iPhone App Store, I grinned as I made "Hello World" appear on the phone's screen. My interest continued to grow as I began researching artificial intelligence and utilizing online resources to learn Python and Java.

The University of Michigan's Department of Engineering, more specifically the Department of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science, possesses the resources for me to pursue my passion. I would have the opportunity to participate in undergraduate research in several fields which spark my curiosity. With several major areas of research within artificial intelligence, my primary interest, I would be able to choose a specialty which I prefer, such as machine learning. This opportunity would also allow me to intertwine computer science with other interests of mine such as economics and video game development. The University of Michigan also offers the chance for me to research quantum computation, a relatively recent development within computer science. I would be able to explore this new development and the potential which it holds.

The University of Michigan is home to a thriving community of students, teachers, and faculty that I wish to join. With a variety of student clubs and organizations, I would be able to find several groups of people who share my own interests so that I can fully express myself. With such a large and diverse community, I would meet people from greatly varying backgrounds and perspectives and develop long lasting relationships with my peers. The study abroad programs at the University of Michigan would give me the opportunity to travel the world and take part in a variety of different cultures and communities while continuing to pursue my major.

With an education from the University of Michigan, I would be able to further myself intellectually and prepare myself for the future, whatever it may hold. I would have the freedom to choose between a variety of disciplines within computer science from which I can build a solid foundation to pursue both postgraduate studies and my career. As seen by the vast number of notable and successful alumni which proceed from this university, I too would possess the skills, knowledge, and opportunities to make an impact. (424 words)

I just wrote these. Any suggestions, proofreading, and ideas are welcome. If something is just absolutely terrible and needs to be completely rewritten please tell me. I will take whatever harsh criticism you throw at me.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Feb 2, 2014   #2
I've developed friendships which have lasted several years and still continue todayto date.

With a school ..

You've presented this nicely. However, I like if you gave a little bit more emphasis on your place in that community. How you are received by other members? Are they dependent on you? Do they value your contribution? You attempt to touch on this aspect in the second para, but more than telling them the technical stuff, touch on the human side of it.

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