Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 4


Gee-Transcending All Languages (UMich Diversity)



liquidice 1 / -  
Nov 10, 2009   #1
"We know that diversity makes us a better university -- better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research."
(U-M President Mary Sue Coleman)
Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.

"Neomuneomu meotjyeo nuni nuni busyeo!" sang Danny as we walked down the halls. I stared at him oddly. A mixture of bewilderment and confusion clouded my face. His mouth was moving but I couldn't understand a single word coming out. I was pretty sure my friend had gone insane.

"Danny, what are you doing?"
"I'm listening to Gee the #1 song in Korea!"
His answer only further perplexed me. Although he was fluent in three languages, Korean wasn't one of them. Why would he listen to something he can't even understand? I didn't get it. As the day passed however, my curiosity only swelled. I went home, went onto YouTube...and listened. In the span of 3 minutes 55 seconds, I was caught. I was entangled in the same web that had captured Danny. I don't know if it was the catchy melody, the angelic voices or simply the nine cute girls, but Gee soon became the number one played song on my iPod.

Gee taught me the importance of new experiences and the value of other cultures. More importantly however, it deemphasized the barriers placed by language. I didn't understand a single word of Gee, but it still opened up a new culture to me. My inability to comprehend Korean did not inhibit my enjoyment of it. Through Gee, I recognized that even through verbal differences, we could still communicate our culture to one another. Because of my experiences, I can offer U-M a receptive and open mind. I can not only provide my own ethnic traditions but also amiably receive the customs of others, augmenting the overall diversity of U-M.

Thanks for reading. Rip it apart please!

ivyeyesediting - / 84  
Nov 10, 2009   #2
Hi David, What's the word limit for this essay?
ukierunner 2 / 9  
Nov 11, 2009   #3
I like this because it is original and speaks about a specific "event." Consider stating how music is the "universal language." Just a thought. I think it does a good job answering the question within the last 2-3 sentences. Possibly consider taking away a sentence that describes the song and adding one more to how the experience changed your outlook on diversity (since this should be the focus).

The word limit is approximately 250 words right?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 11, 2009   #4
Here is my suggestion:

"Neomuneomu meotjyeo nuni nuni busyeo!" sang Danny as we walked down the halls. ... Why would my friend be listening to something he can't even understand? I didn't get it. I think that would be a very entertaining way to start the esay -- with the lyrics and then that Why would my ... I didn't get it."

And after that I think you should give each paragraph a topic sentence that is all about technology breaking down cultural barriers. I think focusing on the Gee might limit the essay's effectiveness...


Home / Undergraduate / Gee-Transcending All Languages (UMich Diversity)
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳