I am applying to JHU and need help with my essay. Any criticism will be taken.
Thank You
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
The Geography Bee
When I was a child I was interested in geography. At first the interest was minimal, but as the years passed the interest would begin to escalate. The result would be a burning passion that I was unable to contain. One day, I would ask my father for an atlas, something that children my age wouldn't normally ask for. He would buy me many atlases, filled with vivid maps and images of the world. As I opened my first atlas, I couldn't control my elation. I wanted to know everything in the world: every country, city, and body of water. Every day after I had returned from a long day at school, I would go up to my room and scan all of my atlases of their contents; this would be my routine for the next few years. By the time I had reached the fourth grade, I knew the capitals of every country in the world.
When I entered middle school, I discovered the National Geographic Bee. It was a competition in which I could showcase the knowledge I had accumulated over the years. During my first year in middle school, I would win my school geography bee and impress many students and teachers in the process. Many teachers would ask why I knew so much about geography and I would simply respond, "Because I love it. " The askers of the question seemed as if they weren't totally satisfied with my answer, but that was the only answer that I was able to supply them with.
The next year, I would make it to the National Geographic State Geography Bee. My father and I would take a long drive to Milledgeville, Georgia. The event was being held at a high school. As I entered the building, I would begin to experience a flurry of emotions: excitement, fear, and anxiousness. I would not make it to the final ten competitors the first year, but my determination would follow me into the eighth grade. I would gain even more knowledge such as major ethnic groups and languages. That year I would finally make it to the final ten. The day I had been waiting for had finally arrived and after three-hundred and sixty-five days I could finally feel the satisfaction that came with victory. I had finally made it to the final ten, something that had eluded me the previous year. This time I'd make sure that every answer that I gave was correct. The number of competitors began to dwindle, until there were only two of us remaining. I had made it to the championship round and the next three questions would determine who would go to the National competition. I would miss the first question; my opponent would answer the question correctly, but I would get the second question. As the final question was being asked I began to feel a deep anxiety, and my palms began to sweat profusely. My mind went blank and as my opponent began scribbling his answer; I knew that I had lost.
White Sea was the answer, this answer would echo in my mind. I felt as if my dream had been crushed and all that I had to look forward to was a long journey home. As my father tried to comfort me, I could only think of "what could have been", chastising myself for most of the trip home." I am proud of you" was what my father would say to me. These words made me think and as I reflected I realized that I shouldn't be filled with gloom. I had accomplished something great and most importantly it was something that I was passionate about. My passion for geography was what led me to compete in the first place. That passion was more significant than winning and all of those days I had spent in my room scouring atlases were simply because of that passion.
Thank You
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
The Geography Bee
When I was a child I was interested in geography. At first the interest was minimal, but as the years passed the interest would begin to escalate. The result would be a burning passion that I was unable to contain. One day, I would ask my father for an atlas, something that children my age wouldn't normally ask for. He would buy me many atlases, filled with vivid maps and images of the world. As I opened my first atlas, I couldn't control my elation. I wanted to know everything in the world: every country, city, and body of water. Every day after I had returned from a long day at school, I would go up to my room and scan all of my atlases of their contents; this would be my routine for the next few years. By the time I had reached the fourth grade, I knew the capitals of every country in the world.
When I entered middle school, I discovered the National Geographic Bee. It was a competition in which I could showcase the knowledge I had accumulated over the years. During my first year in middle school, I would win my school geography bee and impress many students and teachers in the process. Many teachers would ask why I knew so much about geography and I would simply respond, "Because I love it. " The askers of the question seemed as if they weren't totally satisfied with my answer, but that was the only answer that I was able to supply them with.
The next year, I would make it to the National Geographic State Geography Bee. My father and I would take a long drive to Milledgeville, Georgia. The event was being held at a high school. As I entered the building, I would begin to experience a flurry of emotions: excitement, fear, and anxiousness. I would not make it to the final ten competitors the first year, but my determination would follow me into the eighth grade. I would gain even more knowledge such as major ethnic groups and languages. That year I would finally make it to the final ten. The day I had been waiting for had finally arrived and after three-hundred and sixty-five days I could finally feel the satisfaction that came with victory. I had finally made it to the final ten, something that had eluded me the previous year. This time I'd make sure that every answer that I gave was correct. The number of competitors began to dwindle, until there were only two of us remaining. I had made it to the championship round and the next three questions would determine who would go to the National competition. I would miss the first question; my opponent would answer the question correctly, but I would get the second question. As the final question was being asked I began to feel a deep anxiety, and my palms began to sweat profusely. My mind went blank and as my opponent began scribbling his answer; I knew that I had lost.
White Sea was the answer, this answer would echo in my mind. I felt as if my dream had been crushed and all that I had to look forward to was a long journey home. As my father tried to comfort me, I could only think of "what could have been", chastising myself for most of the trip home." I am proud of you" was what my father would say to me. These words made me think and as I reflected I realized that I shouldn't be filled with gloom. I had accomplished something great and most importantly it was something that I was passionate about. My passion for geography was what led me to compete in the first place. That passion was more significant than winning and all of those days I had spent in my room scouring atlases were simply because of that passion.