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George's Secret Key to the Universe; Aerospace Engineering and why UMich?



ceandrews95 4 / 7  
Jan 24, 2013   #1
Prompt: Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (500 words maximum)

In the summer of 2007, I came across George's Secret Key to the Universe, by Stephen and Lucy Hawking. I was 12 years old at the time and the book-with its cleverly outlined and detailed explanations of all things "out of this world"-introduced me to outer space and opened up a whole new world for me. My interest in universal matters gradually turned into an abiding passion, and I soon saw my ambition taking shape: to become an Aerospace Engineer! And in pursuit of this goal, I am applying for a place in the Aerospace Engineering course at the Michigan College of Engineering.

One of the main things that impressed me is the college's plasma-dynamics and electric propulsion laboratory. Opportunities to apply my physical and mathematical knowledge in science fairs or Olympiads are unavailable at my school and as a result, I have only been able to nourish my passion for outer space by reading the UK journal, New Scientist, and NASA's website. Through research on propulsion systems, I have been contemplating the idea of using explosively pumped flux compression generators (EPFCGs) in order to power propulsion systems. Such a system could reduce the consumption of solid or liquid fuel propellants by maximizing efficiency, and the PEPL lab would be a useful facility for me to develop and experiment with this idea.

After perusing the syllabus, I have also noticed that Michigan Engineering students spend most of their time in the labs, and the idea of having so much practical experience draws me towards the college. They say "Practice makes perfect," and the hands-on experience will not only help me fuel my enthusiasm for outer space, but it will also assist me in developing the practical skills needed to stand out as an engineer. Moreover, the Space Flight Mechanics component of the Aerospace course will, no doubt, help me build upon what I've learned, and with the Michigan Exploration Laboratory (MXL), I plan to apply the knowledge I shall gain from the program.

One other thing that attracted me to Michigan College of Engineering is the number of opportunities available to each undergraduate student. As I enjoy interacting with many different people and cultures, I know that Engineering will help me come in contact with like-minded people from different countries. If admitted, I plan to harbor this interaction applying for the summer research programs such as SURE and UROP. Since most of my time during many summer vacations is spent reading, the practical aspects of these programs present a valuable opportunity for me to spend my summer vacation time.

In summary, the Michigan College of Engineering has all the facilities and resources I need in order to help me accomplish my goal of advancing outer space exploration and it is the culmination of these qualities that make the University of Michigan my top choice.

------

Main concerns: - too specific?
- redundant?
- answering the prompt?

Tess962 2 / 10  
Jan 24, 2013   #2
Now, you have already a very accurate feedback up there! I'll add something more :)

is the number of opportunities available to each undergraduate student and what better way to spend a summer than participating in research?

It would be good to separate the two parts as Didgeridoo suggested, but I still find it a little confusing. Summer research is one of the opportunities students get, but not the only one, right? maybe you should say something like "among the others, the summer reserch interest me the most" ..

Also, why do you want to do summer research? If I understend correctly, you get to work in a real lab? If so I would place "experience" and "professional networking" as motivations.

Moreover, the opportunity to interact with like-minded people from different countries is one of the reasons I chose Engineering as a career and if admitted into the University of Michigan

Maybe it is better putting it the other way around " As I enjoy interacting with many different people and cultures, I hope Engineering will help me came in contact with like-minded people from different countries. If admitted etc etc..."

I know how difficult it is to stay in the 500 words limit, do your best! And good luck!
Didgeridoo - / 289  
Jan 25, 2013   #3
I like it! Only thing...

Since most of my time during many summer vacations is spent reading, the practical aspects of these programs present a valuable opportunity for me to spend my summer vacation time...

This sentence feels like it's missing something... Like, "the practical aspects of these programs present a valuable opportunity for me to spend my summer vacation time doing __________ "


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