Hi, I am applying as a freshman undergraduate to several different colleges through the common application. I wasn't all too sure what to write about and I just ended up with this. It would be great if I could get some feedback on my essay. Is the essay too childish? What should I include or omit? Thank you so much for your help!
Prompt:
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
I am the girl sitting in the farthest corners of the room, comforted by the peaceful isolation. I look upon my only escape from reality and I wander into the depths of a whole new world. I don't know what it is about the pile of pages sitting on my lap, and I can't put into words this feeling of wonder and excitement that overwhelms me. I am relaxed. The words are scattered across the blank canvas of imagination. They are the fables, the legends, and the ideas of anything imaginable. And they contain the stories of monsters, heroes, and gods that entice me. This is my safe haven, where I am never alone. So, why doesn't anyone understand? I am not lonely. I was never completely alone to begin with. I merely get lost in the pages, losing myself to a realm of possibility.
My eyes look across the hundreds of titles, searching for the ones I know will lure me; books of fiction, fantasy, and romance. I spot a title that brings a smile to my face, the first story I lost myself in. I know the title and author by heart and I will always remember the plot that brought everything together. I know exactly where it should be, the first title on my bookshelf, tucked safely away. Its name is Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment, written by my favorite author, James Patterson. It is and always will be the first book that I lost myself in.
Ever since I was a child, I have always been fascinated with books. When I would come home after school, I would rush to my bookshelf to pick the next adventure I would undergo. Fantastical stories are my favorite. I enjoy the idea of super powers and the supernatural, which come to life in every book that I read. I frequently ask myself, "What if the supernatural were real? Or What if I could teleport?" The thought has always crossed my mind. I imagine a world without cliques and bullies, where everyone feels welcome and loved; a place where anything is possible. However, I know it doesn't really exist. So, I go back to reality and I acknowledge that there is evil and corruption in the world and the only thing that I can do, is to fight the demons that plague my life and to face the terrors that make me feel less of myself. I am my own person and I like who I am. I accept that I am different from others and that I find no greater pleasure in life than reading a good book. Reading is my safe haven and nothing can change that.
Prompt:
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
I am the girl sitting in the farthest corners of the room, comforted by the peaceful isolation. I look upon my only escape from reality and I wander into the depths of a whole new world. I don't know what it is about the pile of pages sitting on my lap, and I can't put into words this feeling of wonder and excitement that overwhelms me. I am relaxed. The words are scattered across the blank canvas of imagination. They are the fables, the legends, and the ideas of anything imaginable. And they contain the stories of monsters, heroes, and gods that entice me. This is my safe haven, where I am never alone. So, why doesn't anyone understand? I am not lonely. I was never completely alone to begin with. I merely get lost in the pages, losing myself to a realm of possibility.
My eyes look across the hundreds of titles, searching for the ones I know will lure me; books of fiction, fantasy, and romance. I spot a title that brings a smile to my face, the first story I lost myself in. I know the title and author by heart and I will always remember the plot that brought everything together. I know exactly where it should be, the first title on my bookshelf, tucked safely away. Its name is Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment, written by my favorite author, James Patterson. It is and always will be the first book that I lost myself in.
Ever since I was a child, I have always been fascinated with books. When I would come home after school, I would rush to my bookshelf to pick the next adventure I would undergo. Fantastical stories are my favorite. I enjoy the idea of super powers and the supernatural, which come to life in every book that I read. I frequently ask myself, "What if the supernatural were real? Or What if I could teleport?" The thought has always crossed my mind. I imagine a world without cliques and bullies, where everyone feels welcome and loved; a place where anything is possible. However, I know it doesn't really exist. So, I go back to reality and I acknowledge that there is evil and corruption in the world and the only thing that I can do, is to fight the demons that plague my life and to face the terrors that make me feel less of myself. I am my own person and I like who I am. I accept that I am different from others and that I find no greater pleasure in life than reading a good book. Reading is my safe haven and nothing can change that.