So what?
That is the main question that your essay provokes. You have to pick an issue of importance, which this certainly is, and explain why it is important to you, which you have not done. It came up in the debate you were doing. So what? What makes it personally important to you? Why do you feel passionately about it (and if you don't, why did you pick this topic)?
It doesn't help that you don't seem to acknowledge the complexity of the issue. Yes, rape in prison is bad. Yes, it spreads diseases (many much worse than swine flu, which is about as deadly as, well, any of the other seasonal flu bugs that sweep the world each year). And yes, I'll even grant that the government should do something about it. What, exactly, would you suggest? Build triple the number of prisons so that every innmate can be kept in solitary confinement? But that would be another form of cruelty. Prosecute inmates that rape other inmates? And do what, sentence them to prison? Execute every repeat offender to dramatically reduce the prison population? Perhaps not.
I get the sense that you have picked this issue because you happen to have researched it for the debate, but that you don't really care about it. In fact, you indicate as much in your comments before the essay. Find something that you do care about, and write about that, or else write about this one or some other randomly chosen one as if you care about it. Remember, the key to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.
I WANT TO CHOOSE A LOCAL ISSUE
Well, how about the massive mishandling of the recent garbage strike in Toronto? That's local, from my point of view. Do you see the problem with asking other people to suggest local issues that
you care about?