I'm not sure about my answer, so any feedback I could get would be great!!
Why are you drawn to the academic fields you indicated in the questions above?
As a high school junior unsure of what I wanted to do with my life, I had the unique opportunity to participate in a signature program entitled Global Citizenship and Community Development. This program contributed to my initial interest in Political Science and International Relations. As a participant I was able to learn extensively about global interactions, leading to my budding interest in International Relations. My desire to learn more about Political Science began in government classes I have taken throughout high school. It is my hope that Brown will be the place where I can further delve into the intricacies of government and global associations
If you have enough characters left, I would say add something specific about how Brown will help you learn more about gov't, etc., or what drew you to Brown's program/major over other schools'.
:)
Can you take a look at my Princeton essay? Thanks!
So many Ivy League applicants today! Please read my Cornell Supplement essay, I need some comments on the awkwardness of it. Your essay is very concise. Here are some suggestions:
As a participant I was able to learn extensively about global interactions, which led to my interest in International Relations. My desire to learn more about Political Science began in the government classes I have taken throughout high school.
As a student of Arundel High
-i would remove this clause. what's the point of it? (not to sound harsh but ask yourself that when you're writing something)
be more specific with your short answer. make it more personal. it's a good essay, but it's pretty generic. good luck!
As a student of Arundel High, I had the unique opportunity to participate in a signature program entitled Global Citizenship and Community Development. This program contributed to my initial interest in Political Science and International Relations. As a participant I was able to learn extensively about global interactions, leading to my original interest in International Relations. As for Political Science, my desire to learn more about government started during government classes throughout high school. It is my hope that Brown will be the place where I can further delve into the intricacies of government and global associations.
I like it. Its very direct and clear and sounds like you earnesty are interested in the program. Like others say, get rid of the Arundel High, hellllo they already know you're a student there.
You can say, "As a high school junior unsure of what I really wanted to do with my life, I had the unique..." Its a little more detailed... obviously change the junior to whatever grade you were in at the time.
Instead of "leading to my original interest" I would say "leading to a budding interest in IR"
Can you please go over my Brown and Columbia supps?
Here's my revision, any additional feedback?
Better. however, when you discuss "budding interest' it should be an "a" instead of "my" before those words.
I like it! It's to the point and you show how you got into the interest you want to concentrate in.
Maybe you could put in more of what brown can do for you more specifically :)
p.s. I'm applying to Brown for IR and Political Science toooo!
