Global Ugrad - Making the difference in the education of students

Global Ugrad exchange program application

Hello! Im currently writing the application essay for the Global Ugrad exchange program. English is not my birth language and I had never written an essay before.

Tips I've read in the ugrad resources say that I should describe myself and tell a bit about my story so I wrote my essay taking this and the prompt provided into consideration.

I would appreciate evaluation of the following draft to find errors, things that might be irrelevant or things that might need a better development or any advice to improve it. Grammar errors will of course be eliminated before submitting my essay.

Thanks for your time.

I strongly identify myself as an honest person and always accept my actions without trying to change how others perceive them. This way of living has helped me throughout the years to improve and pursue good actions to produce good effects, for me and those who surround me. Responsibility is another value that significantly shaped my life, being aware of what is most important at every moment and focusing on that, it's the reason why I've made a great academic profile.

As a child I was on the problematic side at school, although always good on grades my behavior got me in trouble many times. In some way now, I'm grateful for those times, each mistake came with a hard lesson that made me who I am today: An honest, responsible and respectful System Engineering student that really wants to make the difference in the education of this field of study.

I have taken part in nursing home visiting activities since high school, more recently I led and organized a visit and resource gathering for a nursing home with a university group and for three years I've been part of a group that organizes activities and prepares food for one of the most abandoned nursing homes in the region.

The global UGRAD program is a great opportunity to improve my education and experience the American culture in a unique way. As a member of the online gaming community I've been lucky to make a couple friends from the U.S. We've shared opinions, experiences and talked about how different our lives are. This has only increased my desire to experience the U.S culture and life.

Every semester at University I create study groups to help classmates prepare for exams and I like to spend most of the time before an exam in the classroom explaining and trying to clarify topics with those that are present. Sadly, in our education system interest for quality teaching is very low, and at the end of most courses we are left feeling like we didn't gain any significant knowledge at all. This accumulates into a sense of unpreparedness for a professional career in the future. But I've had a few great professors that really put effort into making sure students learn significantly and that the classes they teach prepare us for our future jobs. All these experiences made me realize I want to teach at university level, and this has become one of the biggest goals of my life. The Global UGRAD exchange program would allow me to experience a better education system and provide me with advanced knowledge in my field of study. And at the end of the program upon returning to my country I would be able to share everything I learned and experienced with my friends and classmates. The exchange program would also prepare me in a unique and very significant way to achieve my goal of becoming a professor for the future students of Computer Sciences in Guatemala. I would be incredibly happy to represent and share my culture and learn about the U.S culture to be an important link between them.

"... my behavior got me in trouble many times"
I think you shouldn't talk about your shortcomings.
And your essay is not enough to convince. You could talk about:
1. Who are you? Name, university, your achievement ( education and society)...
2. Why this program should choose you? (You have to emphasise it)
Your abilities fit this program.
What can you bring this program?
What can this program bring you?
The most important, you should undertand the differences beetwen you and others what will make you special.

Thank you for taking the time of reading my essay.

Got it I will not talk about that topic!

As for who am I, where I study and my achievements, these are already included in the application form. Also the prompt is very clear about the focus being community service so I tried to develop that more.

And thank you I agree, I need to differentiate myself from others.

In my opinion, the whole essay does not work because you are not properly focusing in the requirement of the essay. You are being asked to describe what kind of community leader you are, what community you belong to, and what positive effects you have brought to your community. Who you were as a child and what your problems were then have no bearing on who you are now and how you become the person you are today. There is a very weak show of leadership, both in a community and academic setting being presented in this essay.

Please do not mention online gaming as an actual community in this essay because that is not considered an academic community nor a community that entails the development of your leadership skills. There is still a negative connotation to a "gamer" in an academic setting as most of them drop out to become e-sports participants instead. That is why it is better to not include this reference in this essay.

There are two areas of discussion you should strengthen in this presentation. The first, is the nursing home activity as that can be seen as a manner of community leadership development when presented in the proper context. The second, are the study groups that you led in college every semester. These two activities could very well indicate what sort of contribution you can make to the program and how your inclusion to the group could bring more than just diversity to the semester you hope to participate in.

I hope that you will try to write a new essay based upon the observations and guidance I have provided. You can still improve the presentation. You have a strong potential to do so.

Thank you so much for your advice and I´d like to use it to improve my essay.

I see why the short story about my childhood is not relevant and I also understand why gaming related experiences should be left out of the essay.

But I´m a bit confused would you please help me
The prompt for this essay says:

The Global UGRAD Program is for young leaders committed to serving their home communities. Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?

But I intentionally did not develop more the nursing homes activities and study groups for 2 reasons.
1.They want to know why I would be a great UGRAD participant and with only 3000 characters to do so I tried to include my interest in the cultural experience and how would this program help me achieve goals that support my community. I know the display of leadership in my community is weak, but I haven't had much opportunities to participate in other activities. But it's something I really want to change, and this program also offers its participants community service experiences that I could bring to my country.

2.For the application I must write a second essay, responding to one of two questions. And I'm choosing to respond to this one:

According to Ronald Reagan, "The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things."

Describe an instance where you had to be a leader in your community. What did you learn about yourself, your leadership style, and your capacity to create change?

Here I would develop more the leadership experiences mentioned in the first essay ,so doing that in both essays would just be repetitive, or at least thats what I think.

Does this information change your opinion of my first essay?

No. it does not change my opinion of your first essay because the two prompts discuss two different leadership topics. You seem to not have been able to recognize the difference between the two. Please allow me to explain it to you so that you don't use the wrong information for either essay.

The first prompt is asking you to explain what your community activities are and how these activities have helped you develop your leadership skills. Then you have to explain how these qualities and character traits that you built within yourself as a community activity participant has helped you become a future leader. Then you have to explain how you see yourself applying these leadership skills as a participant in the Global UGrad program. The application to the program will have to indicate how you plan to continue with your community activities stateside so help create a more interesting and diversified experience for the program participants.

The second prompt is about a specific leadership instance that you had during your community activities participation. This is not about leadership development but rather leadership in action based on a specific event. The first prompt is a general reference to leadership. In the second prompt, you are expected to complete a self-analysis, the first prompt does not require that.

Those are two different essay prompts that require two different discussion approaches. I hope these explanation clarify things for you.

@Holt can I pm you my Common app essay I need some help? I'm a bit uncomfortable making a thread.