'my goals of helping not only my country' - Rutgers Admission (Transfer Student)

Hi, I'm applying for Rutgers Newark for the Spring 2012 semester and in the last part of the application they ask you to write an essay:

Recommended Personal Essay: Please use the space below to tell us how you believe a Rutgers education will help you achieve your personal enrichment or career goals.

This is what I've done so far. Any suggestions will be very welcome. Thank you!

A Rutgers education will allow me to achieve my personal and professional goals through a high quality education recognized worldwide and the diversity of its members.

I chose Rutgers as my first choice because it has one of the best Business Schools in America. It is also one of the highest-ranked in New Jersey due of its leadership, outstanding innovation, and demanding faculty, in addition to the diversity of the students, which I feel identified because I was born overseas as many other students who came here to fulfill their dreams through hard work and perseverance. Since I was very young I have learned the importance of being a multicultural person. That helped me to respect and learn from different cultures and absorb the beauty of each. I came from Peru four years ago. Peru is a country where there is much mixing of races. That has been a key factor in my country to have a great diversity of customs, foods and ways of thinking. That has allowed a rapid worldwide recognition even though it is still considered a developing country. Since childhood one of my dreams was to see my country grow to be one of the best in South America. Thanks to the efforts of my compatriots this dream is coming true now, and that inspired me to be part of this big change. That is the reason I want to study in Rutgers, to achieve my goals of helping not only my country, but many others to move forward through international trade even in difficult economic times like we are living this days. Let's not forget that there is always opportunity in crisis, especially in the business field. In Rutgers I am sure I will get all the tools and motivation I need to achieve my dreams so I can add a bit to this world to make it a better place to live for future generations.

Finally, Rutgers presents an opportunity to forge a legacy not only for myself or my family but for millions of people that will appreciate what we do for them. And I'm sure that that will be the best way for me to help others.