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"My God, it's full of stars!" - Interest and Thinkings in Astronomy_ CommonApp



simonepoole 1 / 1  
Nov 4, 2012   #1
I am not sure if I expressed myself clearly or if there's a "me" in it.
And some one said that I put too much emphasize on astronomy,which I would not major in... would this be OK?
Lots of thanks!
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"My God, it's full of stars!"

On a random autumn night I made my discovery. Stars twinkled for the disturbance of atmosphere as I chilled for the unexpected amazement, and I wanted to stay amazed. Soon I was able to point out all the bright constellations and tell the Greek mythologies behind them; I hold dear our neighboring suns light-years away because they taught me a higher fidelity that is more than merely superficial pleasure.

In an all-round pursuit of the "starry heavens", surely I did not miss out the solar eclipse in 2009, the lunar eclipse in 2011, and an English lecture "The Search for Super Massive Black Holes" by Lois Ho from Carnegie Observatories. Astronomy has been such an enchanting and lasting interest that I was privileged to name my class after it. "Supernova" mischievously defined the very spirit of my little community: it was interesting to see my classmates' faces when I told them that a supernova is a dying sun, but they were dramatically relieved to know just how much power and possibilities, including regeneration, a supernova possesses, and so we shared such lively characteristics by name.

What I have done could not possibly rival that of realists and doers, but as a stargazer, in a metaphorical sense, I have my meanings. When my feet get to ground, I link things as if connecting light spots into constellations; I see revelations that others do not notice; I persist in the unpractical few people would care. The appreciating way in which I observe the regularity of deep spaces is exactly from a conscious stand point; since the universe works in profound and eternal laws of physics, I abandon bias and embrace a universal equality, both in science and in humanity. "We too are stardust," a philosopher remarked. In my eyes, the subjectiveness and beauty in every atom of a star is consistent with my morals and values.

"Two things fill the mind with ever-increasing wonder and awe [...]: the starry heavens above me and the moral law within me," Immanuel Kant wrote.

I am a stargazer.

orthodoxyordeat - / 6  
Nov 4, 2012   #2
I really like this essay, good sentence structure and variation.

"I hold dear our neighboring suns light-years away because they taught me a higher fidelity that is more than merely superficial pleasure."

There are a few sentences like this, where I am really getting a sense of you, but that's marred by your word choice. Like here, I'm not sure "fidelity" is the right word. Just work on the diction, and this will be perfect.
OP simonepoole 1 / 1  
Nov 4, 2012   #3
You really clarified my confusion... I'll try to express myself more directly


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