Hey guys, the deadline is soon so I'd really appreciate it if you can give me some feedback. I'll repay the favor..Thanks!
Prompt: Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.
As I draw the red album close, I run my fingers across the dents of the cover. Opening the album, I see a photo of a woman leaning against a rusted booth. She is slightly hunchbacked, her eyes swollen and face prematurely wrinkled. Yet her eyes glow with resolve - one to strive despite life's overwhelming odds. This is Grandma's story, and also mine.
Moving to America has added many ups and downs to my autobiography. Separation from Dad, huge cultural gap, and unfamiliar surroundings - together they made the beginning of my eighth grade year rather unpleasant. Language posed the most insurmountable barrier of all. With no background in English, I was barred from understanding the simplest of things. Even math and science, my usual favorites, were obscured with technical jargon. I could have given up. Instead, I gathered my severely limited vocabulary and heavy accent, and set out to improve my English.
I had developed a system. Sticking out by the side of my history textbook or wedged in between my biology worksheets were sticky notes. Rectangular, round, leaf-shaped − hundreds of them filled with my microscopic record of foreign words. They were vocabularies that I deciphered with my English-Chinese dictionary. Gradually this became my regular routine. Though it could be quite time-consuming, it was the testimony of Grandma's recipe to success: "You have to work twice as hard as anybody else."
During my late-night studies, exhausted and slump against the chair, I often found myself envisioning Grandma at work. She would stand behind her booth, selling noodles all day, every day. No matter rain or shine, she was always there, trying to make ends meet. She refused to succumb to illiteracy, but vowed to overcome her limitations. And with that, I pushed forward. I added more definitions to my sticky note and studied even more for tomorrow's test.
In AP World History, language barrier was as overwhelming as ever. As I tried to decode Aristotle's dense work, I was inadequate at translating my thoughts onto paper under limited time. Unsurprisingly, I received a mediocre score for my essay. The low grade - or rather, grades − in the class nearly defeated me if it weren't for Grandma. Even after a futile day with a few customers, she would still flash her signature smile, anticipating for a better tomorrow. Instead of mourning over the past, I moved forward. After more sticky notes, late-night study sessions, and essay practices, I finally prevailed.
I am proud to say that I've come a long way. From the day that I walked into class as an ESL student, I juggled and struggled with the new language. I still do today. Yet I don't let bumps along the way deter me from my goal. Discouragement is inevitable; however, I work to invest it as energy to be my best.
I stare at the photo as Grandma's radiant eyes look straight into mine. Slowly closing the album, I suddenly realize how I have come to resemble her - assiduous, tenacious, and open-minded.
I'm not sure if I should include my last paragraph.. Any ideas?!
Prompt: Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.
As I draw the red album close, I run my fingers across the dents of the cover. Opening the album, I see a photo of a woman leaning against a rusted booth. She is slightly hunchbacked, her eyes swollen and face prematurely wrinkled. Yet her eyes glow with resolve - one to strive despite life's overwhelming odds. This is Grandma's story, and also mine.
Moving to America has added many ups and downs to my autobiography. Separation from Dad, huge cultural gap, and unfamiliar surroundings - together they made the beginning of my eighth grade year rather unpleasant. Language posed the most insurmountable barrier of all. With no background in English, I was barred from understanding the simplest of things. Even math and science, my usual favorites, were obscured with technical jargon. I could have given up. Instead, I gathered my severely limited vocabulary and heavy accent, and set out to improve my English.
I had developed a system. Sticking out by the side of my history textbook or wedged in between my biology worksheets were sticky notes. Rectangular, round, leaf-shaped − hundreds of them filled with my microscopic record of foreign words. They were vocabularies that I deciphered with my English-Chinese dictionary. Gradually this became my regular routine. Though it could be quite time-consuming, it was the testimony of Grandma's recipe to success: "You have to work twice as hard as anybody else."
During my late-night studies, exhausted and slump against the chair, I often found myself envisioning Grandma at work. She would stand behind her booth, selling noodles all day, every day. No matter rain or shine, she was always there, trying to make ends meet. She refused to succumb to illiteracy, but vowed to overcome her limitations. And with that, I pushed forward. I added more definitions to my sticky note and studied even more for tomorrow's test.
In AP World History, language barrier was as overwhelming as ever. As I tried to decode Aristotle's dense work, I was inadequate at translating my thoughts onto paper under limited time. Unsurprisingly, I received a mediocre score for my essay. The low grade - or rather, grades − in the class nearly defeated me if it weren't for Grandma. Even after a futile day with a few customers, she would still flash her signature smile, anticipating for a better tomorrow. Instead of mourning over the past, I moved forward. After more sticky notes, late-night study sessions, and essay practices, I finally prevailed.
I am proud to say that I've come a long way. From the day that I walked into class as an ESL student, I juggled and struggled with the new language. I still do today. Yet I don't let bumps along the way deter me from my goal. Discouragement is inevitable; however, I work to invest it as energy to be my best.
I stare at the photo as Grandma's radiant eyes look straight into mine. Slowly closing the album, I suddenly realize how I have come to resemble her - assiduous, tenacious, and open-minded.
I'm not sure if I should include my last paragraph.. Any ideas?!
