Hi, any help is greatly appreciated! I feel like it gets a bit cheesy and cliched at some parts, and I'm not sure if I really showed how it "relates to who I am."
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
I felt like I was going to die. I've never really been athletically inclined, but all I could think about on the torturous climb up the Great Wall of China was air-conditioning, water, and the comfiest couch in the world.
I was in a summer camp in Beijing and we were visiting all of the famous sites in the vicinity. It was humbling, to say the least. On the bus ride to the Great Wall, the supervisors, other campers, and I talked about reaching the top. We were excited, but I was a bit uncertain. I had been to the wall once before, when I was about 6. I didn't remember much, so all I could envision were the leveled stretches, but none of the steps. At that time, my family and I had taken a cable car to the top. This time, I would have the full experience.
Each step was different. Some were so steep that one would actually have to climb up onto them, and others were so low that one would have to make sure to not to trip over them. I had to keep my eyes on the steps because they were so inconsistent, but thirst, heat, and exhaustion were taking over. I felt pathetic, and wondered how the soldiers could make this route multiple times a day. Small children on a school trip were passing me, and it seemed like they had reached the top and were coming back down in the time it took for me to catch my breath.
Every time I had to stop and take a rest, I had to think of the millions of people that sacrificed their lives to build this wall, and that I was resting on burial grounds. This, added to the guilt I felt for holding my partner back at my pace, made me reluctantly spring back up and climb a few more steps before collapsing again.
When I finally joined the others at the top tower, we explored further and even climbed on top of the tower. The view from there was stunning, and the sun had withdrawn behind the clouds. There was a slight breeze, and looking down from that height was frightening and satisfying at the same time.
Struggling to make it to the top may pale in comparison to what others have had to go through, but it may be my proudest triumph yet. From reaching goals with ease and aid to doing the same with my own strength, I've grown to strive through my personal obstacles and push past my own ability. I've learned to value persistence and determination and to never give up before I try.
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
I felt like I was going to die. I've never really been athletically inclined, but all I could think about on the torturous climb up the Great Wall of China was air-conditioning, water, and the comfiest couch in the world.
I was in a summer camp in Beijing and we were visiting all of the famous sites in the vicinity. It was humbling, to say the least. On the bus ride to the Great Wall, the supervisors, other campers, and I talked about reaching the top. We were excited, but I was a bit uncertain. I had been to the wall once before, when I was about 6. I didn't remember much, so all I could envision were the leveled stretches, but none of the steps. At that time, my family and I had taken a cable car to the top. This time, I would have the full experience.
Each step was different. Some were so steep that one would actually have to climb up onto them, and others were so low that one would have to make sure to not to trip over them. I had to keep my eyes on the steps because they were so inconsistent, but thirst, heat, and exhaustion were taking over. I felt pathetic, and wondered how the soldiers could make this route multiple times a day. Small children on a school trip were passing me, and it seemed like they had reached the top and were coming back down in the time it took for me to catch my breath.
Every time I had to stop and take a rest, I had to think of the millions of people that sacrificed their lives to build this wall, and that I was resting on burial grounds. This, added to the guilt I felt for holding my partner back at my pace, made me reluctantly spring back up and climb a few more steps before collapsing again.
When I finally joined the others at the top tower, we explored further and even climbed on top of the tower. The view from there was stunning, and the sun had withdrawn behind the clouds. There was a slight breeze, and looking down from that height was frightening and satisfying at the same time.
Struggling to make it to the top may pale in comparison to what others have had to go through, but it may be my proudest triumph yet. From reaching goals with ease and aid to doing the same with my own strength, I've grown to strive through my personal obstacles and push past my own ability. I've learned to value persistence and determination and to never give up before I try.