I'm coming across a bit of trouble between the second and first prompt-I simply find the topics vague and feel that they can somewhat overlap. is this the case with mine? and any input would be greatly appreciated as well(content, grammar, etc.)
#1 Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Prompt #2 Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
My essay is dedicated to prompt #1
Approaching my apartment door as I come home from school, I would hear the lively cries and shouts of young children inside. As I open the door, I would see my mother in the living room, struggling to feed four children. And while doing so, she would catch sight of me entering and muster a weak smile. I would only be able smile back, for the moment. This is my daily life, my world, the birthplace of my dreams.
My mother babysat children in our very own home from the morning till the evening nearly every day. Children would scream and shout nonstop, giving her only seconds to read the newspaper or rest. After their departure, she would make food for the next day to come. By then it would be near midnight and time to sleep. This routine would repeat daily. She never wanted such a tedious and low-paying job, but she didn't have much of a choice either; my mother was unable to go to college, as her family could not afford to do so. The opportunity to live out her dreams was never available to begin with. And In spite of her robbed dreams, my own dreams ultimately came about.
Upon the everyday sight of my mother's position, my world was unbearable. But at some point, I eventually realized that lamenting her loss would do nothing. I decided to take action; I would embrace the opportunities that were unavailable to my mother, and from them I would become a well-paid statistician and free my mother from her wearisome life. Beginning in my junior year, I became double the student I was before. I took on handfuls of AP classes and school opportunities. I took on a bit more than I could handle, but it didn't matter to me as long as I continued to give it my all. Through the eyes of many it would've seemed futile and absurd, but to me it was certainly a start; judgment and ridicule were not to hinder me. My efforts were to be peaked and endless, my fatigue extinct and forgotten.
From my daily life at home, I've learned to seize opportunities, embrace dreams, and take inspiration from the most adverse situations. Not only do I want to end my mother's daily struggle, but I also want to take back what was taken from my mother and make something of it; revive her lost dreams, in a sense. I want to her to know that from her own womb, a man who lived his dreams to the utmost came about. As president Woodrow Wilson once said: "We grow great by dreams." For the moment I can only smile for her, but I eagerly await the day that I can do much more; one day I will be great.
thanks for the input!
any suggestions to improve the beginning?
also, does it seem to answer prompt 1 clearly? as in, could you have understood right away that it was intended for prompt 1 without me indicating so?
