Prompt One:
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Until the age of thirteen, I was educated in a small town in southern China. Under the Chinese government's Educational-Focus policy, rules were strictly enforced in both my schools and everyday life to maintain the government's standard form of social value and morality. Expressions of different opinions rarely appeared because often time these opinions were considered immoral or revolutionary by the government.
Under such an atmosphere, I always needed to take a deep breathe to enter my school's entrance. Seeing Students maintained seated straight on the chairs with eyes on their teacher during the whole period was the daily routine. This reminded me of first time raising my hand and expressing my opinion on student physical punishment done to my peers. I wept and misbehaved to gather my parents' attention to my voice. However, my parents ignored me because our cultural theory of "No pain, no gain" was well spread over the society. The pressure of obedience to strict rules and parents' misunderstanding made me kept all the true feelings within my heart and perhaps I only shared it to myself when I was alone. I lived up my life as a coward who could not be honest to his own feelings. Since then, being honest to my feelings had become a hidden dream in my heart.
The dream remained hidden until my high school senior year as a staff officer in the Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps (JROTC). Since the School Board phased out the JROTC program in 2006, I was appointed to take charge of organizing campaigns, speaking in public hearing meetings, and interviewing with TV programs to advertise Proposition V, which stated to reinstate the program in the public high schools. Carrying on this burden was very difficult, especially when there were anti-military organization's verbal discouragements. However, I did not back up as I was five years ago because I hated being dishonest to my feelings. I knew I must be honest to myself in order to grow, or else I was no difference with yesterday's coward. A little of verbal attack could not stop me from pursuing my individual democracy and education in this country; rather it stimulated me to stand up for my opinion stronger.
As a result of our diligent campaigns, Proposition V passed with 52 percent in favored on the day of the election. Throughout these experiences, I further confirmed who I am as a person and ought to be honest and proud of living this way. One can not move ahead without knowing and accepting oneself. I have gone through this process earlier than others and this is my best advantage for building a successful future.
First, I'll separate this into its paragraphs for clarity...
Until the age of thirteen, I was educated in a small town in southern China. Under the Chinese government's Educational-Focus policy, rules were strictly enforced in both school and everyday life to maintain the government's standard form of social value and morality. Expressions of different opinions rarely appeared, because often time these opinions were considered immoral or revolutionary by the government.
Thank you very mcuh for your time and comments. Other than the content, is there any other grammar mistakes and is my essay clearly sending the message??? I am trying to finalize my essays by Saturday, please provide valuabe feedbacks. Thank you very much!
