I wanna submit it to William and Mary, UVA, and GW today. is it good enough? any feedback is great
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Growing up, education and opportunities offered in America were emphasized in my family. Education was the most important thing in our home because my parents believe that with success, comes knowledge. I'm the child of first generation immigrants. My mother is an Ethiopian immigrant who came here for education. My dad came for a different reason. He is an Eritrean refugee who came here to escape the Eritrean war of independence from Ethiopia. Eritreans lived in paranoia that they would be killed by the Derg regime for any reason, at any second. Before high school graduation, the Derg forced him in the military to fight against his own people; to fight with the people who killed his sister, cousin, and his country. He escaped to Sudan.He left behind his family and his aunt that raised him, my namesake, Mahlet .When he got to Sudan, he started working to save up money to go back. When he came to America in 1987, he had the dreams of education ,but never the opportunity. My parents came here to live the American dream. I'm a representation of everything that they wanted. To my parents, I represent the prosperity and the opportunity of the American dream. Seeing how my father struggled, but persevered for my sisters and I to have an education, made me the young woman I'm today. I'm a strong minded, independent, and motivated person, always seizing opportunities. I put education first, which instilled a deep rooted appreciation for knowledge and curiosity in me. Whenever I complain about school, I think about how my dad struggled to get us to where we are, and my mindset changes. I'm the oldest sibling, which means I'll be the first one at college; I have opportunities to further my mind and be able to become anything I desire. I know that whenever I put my mind to something, it will happen. For example, when I wanted a 5 on my AP lang exam, I studied religiously to get it. Because of my hard work, I got my 5 and then two 4's. I don't want to struggle the same way my parents did, and my parents don't want me to either. I want to make the sacrifices my parents took to come here, worth it; i want to make the American dream that my dad gave up on, come alive through me. My father sacrificed everything to see his family prosper. He sacrificed his schooling to save his family.He saved his money so he could put his children through college. He worked endless shifts to make this dream a reality. Believing in the idea of "American opportunity" motivated me to work twice as hard for everything . My parents always encouraged us to strive in school because they knew that with education and knowledge, all the doors would be opened for us, all the doors that were closed for them. They want to see us do better than them, to prosper. I am a living legacy of what my parents and I want for me. The American dream comes from sacrifices. Its something that all people strive to achieve. When I walk that stage and receive my high school diploma June 2016, I know my parents will cry tears of joy. When I walk the stage in June 2020, receiving my college degree, my family and I will be glowing with pride. And when I'm doing a job that I love, my American dream and the American dream my parents sacrificed for their children, will be fulfilled. Politicians argue that the American Dream is dead. That is not true. I am the American Dream.
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Growing up, education and opportunities offered in America were emphasized in my family. Education was the most important thing in our home because my parents believe that with success, comes knowledge. I'm the child of first generation immigrants. My mother is an Ethiopian immigrant who came here for education. My dad came for a different reason. He is an Eritrean refugee who came here to escape the Eritrean war of independence from Ethiopia. Eritreans lived in paranoia that they would be killed by the Derg regime for any reason, at any second. Before high school graduation, the Derg forced him in the military to fight against his own people; to fight with the people who killed his sister, cousin, and his country. He escaped to Sudan.He left behind his family and his aunt that raised him, my namesake, Mahlet .When he got to Sudan, he started working to save up money to go back. When he came to America in 1987, he had the dreams of education ,but never the opportunity. My parents came here to live the American dream. I'm a representation of everything that they wanted. To my parents, I represent the prosperity and the opportunity of the American dream. Seeing how my father struggled, but persevered for my sisters and I to have an education, made me the young woman I'm today. I'm a strong minded, independent, and motivated person, always seizing opportunities. I put education first, which instilled a deep rooted appreciation for knowledge and curiosity in me. Whenever I complain about school, I think about how my dad struggled to get us to where we are, and my mindset changes. I'm the oldest sibling, which means I'll be the first one at college; I have opportunities to further my mind and be able to become anything I desire. I know that whenever I put my mind to something, it will happen. For example, when I wanted a 5 on my AP lang exam, I studied religiously to get it. Because of my hard work, I got my 5 and then two 4's. I don't want to struggle the same way my parents did, and my parents don't want me to either. I want to make the sacrifices my parents took to come here, worth it; i want to make the American dream that my dad gave up on, come alive through me. My father sacrificed everything to see his family prosper. He sacrificed his schooling to save his family.He saved his money so he could put his children through college. He worked endless shifts to make this dream a reality. Believing in the idea of "American opportunity" motivated me to work twice as hard for everything . My parents always encouraged us to strive in school because they knew that with education and knowledge, all the doors would be opened for us, all the doors that were closed for them. They want to see us do better than them, to prosper. I am a living legacy of what my parents and I want for me. The American dream comes from sacrifices. Its something that all people strive to achieve. When I walk that stage and receive my high school diploma June 2016, I know my parents will cry tears of joy. When I walk the stage in June 2020, receiving my college degree, my family and I will be glowing with pride. And when I'm doing a job that I love, my American dream and the American dream my parents sacrificed for their children, will be fulfilled. Politicians argue that the American Dream is dead. That is not true. I am the American Dream.