'Growing up I had separated parents' - What was the environment you were raised?

What was the environment you were raised? Describe your family and explain how the shaped you today

This is my college application and feedback is much appreciated.

Growing up I had separated parents. I went back and forth between my mother and father each week and this was normal for me until I reached junior high. During my childhood, I was caught in the middle of a custody battle between my mother and father resolving who I would live with until I was eighteen and moved to college and I had already decided that I wanted to live with my father. I knew that if I lived with my father that I would move to Texas. At the time, I was too young to fully understand the magnitude of this compromise, that this agreement of who would raise me would influence the person I am today.

We're a lot like our parents. When we're young, everything they do we assume is "the right way" of doing something. As a result, we talk like them, we think like them, we eat like them, and we also happen to look like them! Growing up in two environments lets me adopt the best personality traits from both my mother and father. My mother stressed teaching me the importance of culture and tradition, while my father concentrated on raising me to understand the value of education and integrity. Inheriting these characteristics from both households makes me a well-rounded and self-motivated individual.

Moving to a new state has also influenced my character. I had in lived California up until I was twelve years old and when my father had custody of me we moved to Texas. California and Texas are hugely different. California's atmosphere feels fast paced and always moving, you regularly see people wearing suits in a rush getting their morning coffee and catching a bus to work. Texas feels more relaxed, people here embrace a simple and spiritual lifestyle, some even choose to live in the country. The common consensus in regards to political judgement also differ greatly between both states, California is very Liberal, whereas those who live in Texas are often Conservative. Exposure to two different environments and lifestyles was a huge opportunity for me because I experienced what it's like to transition from a contrasting environment and I saw that people living entirely different lifestyles can still fill their hearts with joy doing different things.

Although I had decided I wanted to live with my father, being from California, I wasn't entirely sold on the notion of living in Texas. I thought I wasn't going to enjoy living in Texas. At the time I still thought those who lived in Texas used carriages for transportation! However, I still found happiness in my new home. Where you live, the lifestyle you adopt, doesn't determine your contentment, who you're with is what truly matters. And I was with my father.

Growing up in two households and in two different states taught me the value of family and has carved my identity. I learned from different two households and I learned to adapt to a new lifestyle. I learned a lot about how people with other lifestyles states seek happiness in different aspirations. My past experiences have molded my character and make me the cheerful personality I am today.

Anthony, the essay is good and almost on the mark in terms of discussing the kind of environment and how it shaped who you are today. I particularly like your comment about how living in two different households and how you are a product of the best that your parents are. When it came to discussing the environment, in terms of where you were raised, your description was not as effective.

You successfully described the environment you were raised in from California to Texas. You were able to describe the kind of places these were and the attitude of the people. So I was expecting to read more about how these two environments influenced your development as a person. Aside from your parents, the cities were you were raised and the people you mingled with also influenced your development as a person. There is very little description as to the kind of person you have become based upon the best influence that you have had from the cities.

Exposure to two different environments and lifestyles was a huge opportunity for me because I experienced what it's like to transition from a contrasting environment and I saw that people living entirely different lifestyles can still fill their hearts with joy doing different things.

That is the paragraph that is the most important when it comes to describing the influence the cities had on you. You witnessed how different the lives of the people living in each city was. How did you adapt to it? Weren't you affected by culture shock? How would you describe yourself in relation to the varying influences you were exposed to in terms of social development due to the influence of the cities and its residents? As far as I can tell, that is the only part of the essay that you should pay attention to in terms of using it to better deliver the prompt requirements.