Hi! I would love to hear suggestions on how to improve this essay. I still have 50 words or so that I can add :)
Most high school seniors are unsure about eventual career choices. What experiences have led you to consider medicine as your future profession? Please describe specifically why you have chosen to apply to the Program in Liberal Medical Education in pursuit of your career in medicine. Also, be sure to indicate your rationale on how the PLME is a "good fit" for your personal, academic and future professional goals. (Limit your response to this question to 500 words.)
Growing up in a family committed to health care, I was surprisingly encouraged to choose any other profession but medicine. My father, of course, did not want a life for her daughter that required many sacrifices. But I decided to explore medicine for myself. Volunteering in the emergency department, I became aware of a different side of health care --past the knowledge and medical terminology one can find in any textbook. A side that, at times, seemed cold and detached -- for example, nurses calling patients by their room number or diagnosis. I understood the principles of patient confidentiality however/yet in my eyes the warmth I thought health care possessed seemed to be missing. But then I had to face the horrible moment of leading a family to the Conference Room to await the news of their mother's death. Minutes before, I had heard "CODE BLUE" over the speaker on my way to the Patient Representative desk and saw paramedics in the trauma bay perform CPR on a patient. After their persevering attempts, they called it and I was left to stare at the woman's lifeless body who earlier today had been as alive as I was. I still remember the face of the woman and her family's once they were informed, but what struck me the most was watching the medical staff laughing afterwards as if nothing had occurred. Here I was, disturbed by the daunting specter of death and they, evidently, unaffected. Right then I could not understand, but looking back I realize why dark humor and omissions of names were necessary. Their behavior was not callous (better word?); it was a manner to protect themselves --the only way to guard their own humanity. I believe health care is sustained in the balanced relationship between patients and professionals, the expertise and skill of medical professionals and the love for fellow mankind. Through a culmination of experiences volunteering and shadowing physicians, I am certain I wish to explore this way of life. Brown's PLME will ensure me the privilege to be a part of this intricate world where life and death follow. I would not only secure a position in the Warren Alpert Medical School but I will enjoy the perks of Brown's liberal curriculum. I yearn to participate in research through the SRAs, gain more clinical experience through the MIAP, take preclinical electives to prepare for my time as a medical student, and enroll in English and French studies while completing the Biochemistry and Molecular Biology major. My first four years at Brown University will allow me to pursue a variety of activities but most importantly set an environment where I can explore, learn and grow to ultimately become a better person, student, and doctor.
"Their behavior was not callous..."
Callous is actually an apt word for the situation. If you personally don't like it you could go with "careless", "malicious", "cold hearted", or "cruel"
Help with my essay?
Yes, the last essay I posted, I'd love any edit or critique on it :)
"Brown's PLME will afford me the privilege to be a part of this intricate world of medicine where life and death both play a significant role ."
