My Guitar; Common App-"extracurricular activities or work"

Is this good enough? Too much show, not enough tell? Please correct me on anything!

I play guitar not to show off or put myself in the center of attention, but to express myself when words are not enough.
I believe that expressing oneself through an instrument is a beautiful thing because there are no limitations to what one can say with it. One combination of notes can say so many things. A different set of emotions is brought to life every time depending on how one strums or plucks the strings of a guitar. Whereas with words, one is limited to the vocabulary one knows, to a set of never-ending grammatical rules. But with music, there are no rules. One can strum a fast beat when feeling excited or use a melancholic plucking pattern when feeling heavy-hearted.

My guitar has allowed me to verbalize my emotions. Not only that, it has also taught me that one does not need classes if one is truly passionate about something. It's the passion that makes one persevere and makes one strive towards perfection in hopes of someday mastering the act.

I think that you should change the first sentence something about it sets the whole paper off on the wrong foot in my opinion. I do think the essay has good point though I just think that you should make it more personal and not say "one" as much it is about you and no one else. The reader wants to hear only about you and your experience so I feel like yours is to general in the beginning. Maybe you can focus on one particular time when using the guitar helped you express yourself or when you first started using music to say things that you lips could not. I hope this helps. Good luck!

yeah the first sentence should portray the main idea..which is that the guitar has always helped u with ur emotions..nice work though =)

nicolettec18
Thank you!! Here it is edited, please tell me what you think. I fixed the first sentence, do you think it starts of the essay better?

24 frets, 6 strings, and 5 chords. A combination of the three creates an endless possibility of portrayal of emotion. I believe that the way I express myself through a guitar is a beautiful mystery because there are no limitations to what I can say with it. One combination of notes can say so many things. A different set of emotions is brought to life every time depending on how I strum or pluck the strings of my guitar. Whereas with words, I'm limited to the vocabulary I knows, to a set of never-ending grammatical rules. But with music, there are no rules. I can strum a fast beat when I feel excited or use a melancholic plucking pattern when I feel heavy-hearted.

For most of my life, I have always been one short of words. I never really had a way of saying what I felt. For example, I was once going through a difficult time I just wanted to scream at the one who had done me wrong. But instead, I wrote a song with my guitar and that actually calmed me down. Playing that song said everything my lips failed to.

My guitar has allowed me to verbalize my emotions. Not only that, but it has also given me a way to deal with and control them.

You should paste it in the area on the comm app, as I know, it will directly cut off the part that is over the limit. You don't want to submit one without the ending.

I did :) That post has the shortened/edited version :)

in short of words

Grammatically, I don't see a lot of errors~~but I am not a native speaker either, sorry I cannot help more.

I like you topic that how music helped you express your feeling! This is a good essay overall.

Just a few suggestions:
1. in the first paragraph, it would be better if you could give some examples of your favorite pieces. I would suggest to put them after "One combination of notes can say so many things". e.g. the XXX 's light and joyful rhythm could instantly brings me back to the precious childhood memory, while the solemn and sentimental XXX turns me to a heart-broken to grief his lost love.

something like that. I am not a good writer, but I hope you understand what I mean.

2. I wouldn't say something like "I have always been one short of words. I never really had a way of saying what I felt. " you don't want to show the admission officers that you are not a good communicator. I suggest you could put words like "sometimes" there to make it less evident.