"Haiti's capital earthquake" - UCF essay (short)

If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.

On January 12, 2010, a catastrophic 7.0 magnitude earthquake struck in a town near Haiti's capital. The effect of the earthquake was disastrous. It left hundreds of thousands dead and many more injured. The aftermath had emotional impact on not only the nation but the world. But the calamity had a more personal effect on me. Not only was this my family's country of origin, but on that day my father was in Port au Prince, the nations capital. It was horrifying to not know where he was, if he was safe and sound, and the thought of him not being in my life any longer was mortifying.

Thankfully on January 15th we received a call from him that he was in good health and had reached an airport. He was flown back home by a US rescue airliner. The experience has brought my family closer together and has changed my life for the better. I now value life more than ever.

I would make the essay longer. Talk more about yourself in your essay, as that is what the admissions officers are really looking for: who you are. Explain how this affected you, and how you felt.

This is a good essay but I don't really see how it answers the prompt. The only possible bump in this caused in your life was worrying about his saftey for three days.

Other than that the essay appears fine gramatically.

Please read my why northwestern essay.

I like it but I agree with Anonymoussenior, that they'd probably be looking for something that related more to you. Other than that it's fine. If you chose to keep this I would advise you to explore how this affected you more in depth, like how you felt and if you were able to overcome anything through the scare of your father's death.

please read mine!!