please help me with grammatical errors!
and advices to make these essays effective will be greatly appreciated ;D ;D
thank you so much for your time and attention!!!
1) Please share a time that you helped to create community and/or encourage dialogue.
"Hey, would you like some chocolate? This is my favorite kind!" That was the first sentence I tossed down to the new girl named Ju Myung Lee. Having lived in Netherland, Europe for four years, she was not familiar with a different school system and had a hard time with making new friends. As a little chocolate conversation led into another conversations, we got to know each other little by little. Later, I introduced my friends to her and encourage them to talk to each other. At first, they were all shy but soon we all became good friends to each others. For a year, we were always together laughing, crying, and sharing our thoughts. The day at airport, she gave me a photo album with a letter. Wishing me a good luck in U.S., she said in the letter that she thanked me for a great friendship when she was so lonely and wanted to go back at first time.
Once a week on Saturday for two hours during the summer 2008, I used to go to Seoul which is 5 hours away from my city Ulsan to participate the study group for United Nations. With about 13 members including the instructor, who used to be an intern at United Nations in New York, we discussed over the current issues and learnt about brief history of United Nations. Ages and occupations were varied yet the passion for learning something new was the same. As a part of the group, I helped to create community by participating delightfully and encouraged dialogue by listening others opinion carefully. Personality which gets along with others well and the curiosity which desires for something new and different brought me opportunities to create community and encourage dialogue. As a result, a great friendship and good experiences followed from those. With amiable personality and curiosity of something new, I am certain that I can distribute not only to community of Hampshire but also to the bigger world after with education from Hampshire.
2) Please share an experience when a facet of diversity has challenged and, perhaps, changed you. You might consider, but are not limited by, traditional categories of diversity: race, class, gender identity, sexual orientation, age, culture, religious faith, political views, or physical differences.
Crossing the Pacific Ocean four years ago, I encountered not only the new world I imagined of but also the cultural differences. Having lived in South Korea for 16 years, I gazed at the two contradictory cultures, Western and Oriental. Which one is mine? Which one should I choose? It was true that I need to fully infuse myself to new culture and environment where I came to learn. Yet at the same time, it was also necessary to preserve and remember where I came from and who I really am. Later on, as I learned how to blend those two different worlds and the obstacle which once seemed undefeatable became a chance for me to embrace two different cultures simultaneously.
Past four years, my consideration of myself has grown up step by step from representative of Yang family finally to one who can embrace the difference between two contradictory cultures. First year before I leave to the United States, my mom ensured me that I am a representative of Yang family and watch out for every single behaviors and demeanor which will reflect my family. Following year, I realized that I am, before a representative of my family, a daughter of South Korea who knows how to share and to be proud of my own culture. Having seen and understood the differences between two cultures, I, later on, found myself not only a daughter of Korea but also the one who embraces two different worlds, South Korea and the United States.
3) Hampshire's motto. Non Satis Scire (To Know is Not Enough) urges students to use their knowledge and abilities to make a difference in the world. Please describe an issue in the world or your own community of importance to you, and explain why it should be addressed.
Over the summer of junior year in Ulsan, South Korea, I volunteered at the community tutoring center which provides education and tender care to elementary school students, whose parents are underprivileged and divorced. Knowing that education is one of the most important criteria which open the door of the opportunity, I was excited to help them with Korean and math. End of the summer, their math and Korean skill improved. Some of them whom I worked with their English developed their interest in going to United States like me. Even though it seems that it was a small difference I could make for the community, I was certain that in long term, those educated children, who were under the loving care, will someday be thankful for what they received not only from me but also from so many other volunteers and the society and contribute back to others who need help.
To know is not enough. Knowledge loses its shine if it is not used or shared. From the process of sharing, not only the one who receives the knowledge but also the one who shares the knowledge benefit. That summer, I have re-realized and was thankful that how many opportunities and chances I have been given compared to them. I found the common between the motto I live by be the difference you want to see in the world-Mahatma Gandhi and the motto of Hampshire Non Satis Scire. Shared knowledge scintillates its shine to the brightest and benefits both giver and receiver and finally the whole community. Just like I once shared with children in Ulsan, South Korea, with strong education from Hampshire, I will be dedicated myself to contribute to the society with the bigger and wider knowledge.
4) What is college for?
The word I want to describe myself is a seed, one of many out there yet unique with its own passion and goals. Not knowing what kind of plants it is going to turn into yet recognizing its own immeasurable potential, the seed wants to be nourished. College is the place this seed can expose itself to so many diversified opportunities and challenges and learn more about itself. At college, it will grow day by day, achieve the goals step by step, and finally pursue to be who it can really be.
It may sound like a quixotic philosophy yet I believe in such romance; College, considered to be the place people get ready for a job market, to me is rather a place where people can experience something new and pursue their passion and goals. I am eager to know who I can be. I am desperate for knowledge and new experience. College, I believe, is the place where I can satisfy my voracious appetite for knowing and see myself growing up.
5) Why Hampshire? Please explain how and why Hampshire's distinctive academic structure and community will inspire, challenge, and nourish you.
I first learned of Hampshire through Five College Exchange system. As I get to know more and more about Hampshire College, I found Hampshire as a fascinating college which expects its students to challenge themselves not only academically but also iconoclastically. Considering human's life expectancy is 80 years, I believe it is important to experience and learn different subjects and get to know what I am really interested in and find out what I would love to do for rest of my life. Hampshire's interdisciplinary schools provide opportunities students to observe the issues with many different perspectives. As I was participated in a Korean candle demonstration during summer 2008, I am especially interested activism and politics programs in the school of Social science. I am also eager to take class like Third World, Second Sex: Does Economic Development Enrich or Impoverish Women's lives? by Laurie Nisonoff and have a insight of Lili M. Kim, the professor of history and global immigration and the author of the forthcoming book, Resisting the Orientalization of the Ememy: Korean Americans, World War II, and the Transnational Struggle for Justice on the Homefront.
Hampshire is where self-motivated students gather and pursue their goals and dreams. Hampshire is where students seek and persuade their intellectual hunger. Finally, Hampshire is where students are committed not only to themselves but also to others. I, myself, am a self-motivated student with my own goals and passions seeking for new experiences and yearning to know. With the reasons, I am certain that Hampshire is truly the place where I can be inspired, challenged, and nourished.
and advices to make these essays effective will be greatly appreciated ;D ;D
thank you so much for your time and attention!!!
1) Please share a time that you helped to create community and/or encourage dialogue.
"Hey, would you like some chocolate? This is my favorite kind!" That was the first sentence I tossed down to the new girl named Ju Myung Lee. Having lived in Netherland, Europe for four years, she was not familiar with a different school system and had a hard time with making new friends. As a little chocolate conversation led into another conversations, we got to know each other little by little. Later, I introduced my friends to her and encourage them to talk to each other. At first, they were all shy but soon we all became good friends to each others. For a year, we were always together laughing, crying, and sharing our thoughts. The day at airport, she gave me a photo album with a letter. Wishing me a good luck in U.S., she said in the letter that she thanked me for a great friendship when she was so lonely and wanted to go back at first time.
Once a week on Saturday for two hours during the summer 2008, I used to go to Seoul which is 5 hours away from my city Ulsan to participate the study group for United Nations. With about 13 members including the instructor, who used to be an intern at United Nations in New York, we discussed over the current issues and learnt about brief history of United Nations. Ages and occupations were varied yet the passion for learning something new was the same. As a part of the group, I helped to create community by participating delightfully and encouraged dialogue by listening others opinion carefully. Personality which gets along with others well and the curiosity which desires for something new and different brought me opportunities to create community and encourage dialogue. As a result, a great friendship and good experiences followed from those. With amiable personality and curiosity of something new, I am certain that I can distribute not only to community of Hampshire but also to the bigger world after with education from Hampshire.
2) Please share an experience when a facet of diversity has challenged and, perhaps, changed you. You might consider, but are not limited by, traditional categories of diversity: race, class, gender identity, sexual orientation, age, culture, religious faith, political views, or physical differences.
Crossing the Pacific Ocean four years ago, I encountered not only the new world I imagined of but also the cultural differences. Having lived in South Korea for 16 years, I gazed at the two contradictory cultures, Western and Oriental. Which one is mine? Which one should I choose? It was true that I need to fully infuse myself to new culture and environment where I came to learn. Yet at the same time, it was also necessary to preserve and remember where I came from and who I really am. Later on, as I learned how to blend those two different worlds and the obstacle which once seemed undefeatable became a chance for me to embrace two different cultures simultaneously.
Past four years, my consideration of myself has grown up step by step from representative of Yang family finally to one who can embrace the difference between two contradictory cultures. First year before I leave to the United States, my mom ensured me that I am a representative of Yang family and watch out for every single behaviors and demeanor which will reflect my family. Following year, I realized that I am, before a representative of my family, a daughter of South Korea who knows how to share and to be proud of my own culture. Having seen and understood the differences between two cultures, I, later on, found myself not only a daughter of Korea but also the one who embraces two different worlds, South Korea and the United States.
3) Hampshire's motto. Non Satis Scire (To Know is Not Enough) urges students to use their knowledge and abilities to make a difference in the world. Please describe an issue in the world or your own community of importance to you, and explain why it should be addressed.
Over the summer of junior year in Ulsan, South Korea, I volunteered at the community tutoring center which provides education and tender care to elementary school students, whose parents are underprivileged and divorced. Knowing that education is one of the most important criteria which open the door of the opportunity, I was excited to help them with Korean and math. End of the summer, their math and Korean skill improved. Some of them whom I worked with their English developed their interest in going to United States like me. Even though it seems that it was a small difference I could make for the community, I was certain that in long term, those educated children, who were under the loving care, will someday be thankful for what they received not only from me but also from so many other volunteers and the society and contribute back to others who need help.
To know is not enough. Knowledge loses its shine if it is not used or shared. From the process of sharing, not only the one who receives the knowledge but also the one who shares the knowledge benefit. That summer, I have re-realized and was thankful that how many opportunities and chances I have been given compared to them. I found the common between the motto I live by be the difference you want to see in the world-Mahatma Gandhi and the motto of Hampshire Non Satis Scire. Shared knowledge scintillates its shine to the brightest and benefits both giver and receiver and finally the whole community. Just like I once shared with children in Ulsan, South Korea, with strong education from Hampshire, I will be dedicated myself to contribute to the society with the bigger and wider knowledge.
4) What is college for?
The word I want to describe myself is a seed, one of many out there yet unique with its own passion and goals. Not knowing what kind of plants it is going to turn into yet recognizing its own immeasurable potential, the seed wants to be nourished. College is the place this seed can expose itself to so many diversified opportunities and challenges and learn more about itself. At college, it will grow day by day, achieve the goals step by step, and finally pursue to be who it can really be.
It may sound like a quixotic philosophy yet I believe in such romance; College, considered to be the place people get ready for a job market, to me is rather a place where people can experience something new and pursue their passion and goals. I am eager to know who I can be. I am desperate for knowledge and new experience. College, I believe, is the place where I can satisfy my voracious appetite for knowing and see myself growing up.
5) Why Hampshire? Please explain how and why Hampshire's distinctive academic structure and community will inspire, challenge, and nourish you.
I first learned of Hampshire through Five College Exchange system. As I get to know more and more about Hampshire College, I found Hampshire as a fascinating college which expects its students to challenge themselves not only academically but also iconoclastically. Considering human's life expectancy is 80 years, I believe it is important to experience and learn different subjects and get to know what I am really interested in and find out what I would love to do for rest of my life. Hampshire's interdisciplinary schools provide opportunities students to observe the issues with many different perspectives. As I was participated in a Korean candle demonstration during summer 2008, I am especially interested activism and politics programs in the school of Social science. I am also eager to take class like Third World, Second Sex: Does Economic Development Enrich or Impoverish Women's lives? by Laurie Nisonoff and have a insight of Lili M. Kim, the professor of history and global immigration and the author of the forthcoming book, Resisting the Orientalization of the Ememy: Korean Americans, World War II, and the Transnational Struggle for Justice on the Homefront.
Hampshire is where self-motivated students gather and pursue their goals and dreams. Hampshire is where students seek and persuade their intellectual hunger. Finally, Hampshire is where students are committed not only to themselves but also to others. I, myself, am a self-motivated student with my own goals and passions seeking for new experiences and yearning to know. With the reasons, I am certain that Hampshire is truly the place where I can be inspired, challenged, and nourished.
