here is the prompt
Please include a thoughtful commentary on your academic goals and an explanation of reasons for leaving your present/most recently attended college, and for wanting to attend the University of Connecticut.
here is my first draft
From the first time I walked the grounds of the University of Connecticut, I was amazed at what I saw, from the large campus to the lush green surrounding area, I was literally awe struck. Since that moment I knew what college I wanted to attend. Currently I am enrolled in the School of Criminal Justice at Rutgers University - Newark Campus. It is perfect place for students that like a small school and the luxury and feeling of living in a big city. However, I am not one of those students. I feel that the chaotic city life is not for me, a more rural setting would suit me much better and give me space to think and room to breathe. Due to the size of Rutgers - Newark, there are a limited number of intramural sports and clubs on campus. The lack activities to do outside the class room it makes me feel out of place, because I am a highly active individual. I am very active, be it rock climbing, running, wrestling, lifting, or firefighting, Rutgers - Newark does not fulfill my active needs. I am also a very hard worker, and I do try my best at everything I do, inside and outside the classroom. I truly believe that the University of Connecticut would make me feel like I belong.
Aside from the activities, the academic goals I would like to accomplish if I were to attend the University of Connecticut are to find a major that I want to study which includes join the Reserve Officers Training Corps. I do not thing Criminal Justice is really my calling, I thought it would interest me, but after taking some courses on the subject, that does not appear to be the case. I want to find a major that I truly enjoy studying and have a passion for. Those interests are politics, building, and the military. At my current university, engineering, ROTC and military science are not offered. ROTC is something that I have thought about doing since my last few years in high school, I want the chance to be a part of something bigger than myself, while achieving a degree from a prestigious university. If the goal of college is to be happy where you are, and find your place, I think I've found it and it's in Storrs, Connecticut.
let me know what you guys think and what i should change and fix. I just found this website 30 min ago and its great
Please include a thoughtful commentary on your academic goals and an explanation of reasons for leaving your present/most recently attended college, and for wanting to attend the University of Connecticut.
here is my first draft
From the first time I walked the grounds of the University of Connecticut, I was amazed at what I saw, from the large campus to the lush green surrounding area, I was literally awe struck. Since that moment I knew what college I wanted to attend. Currently I am enrolled in the School of Criminal Justice at Rutgers University - Newark Campus. It is perfect place for students that like a small school and the luxury and feeling of living in a big city. However, I am not one of those students. I feel that the chaotic city life is not for me, a more rural setting would suit me much better and give me space to think and room to breathe. Due to the size of Rutgers - Newark, there are a limited number of intramural sports and clubs on campus. The lack activities to do outside the class room it makes me feel out of place, because I am a highly active individual. I am very active, be it rock climbing, running, wrestling, lifting, or firefighting, Rutgers - Newark does not fulfill my active needs. I am also a very hard worker, and I do try my best at everything I do, inside and outside the classroom. I truly believe that the University of Connecticut would make me feel like I belong.
Aside from the activities, the academic goals I would like to accomplish if I were to attend the University of Connecticut are to find a major that I want to study which includes join the Reserve Officers Training Corps. I do not thing Criminal Justice is really my calling, I thought it would interest me, but after taking some courses on the subject, that does not appear to be the case. I want to find a major that I truly enjoy studying and have a passion for. Those interests are politics, building, and the military. At my current university, engineering, ROTC and military science are not offered. ROTC is something that I have thought about doing since my last few years in high school, I want the chance to be a part of something bigger than myself, while achieving a degree from a prestigious university. If the goal of college is to be happy where you are, and find your place, I think I've found it and it's in Storrs, Connecticut.
let me know what you guys think and what i should change and fix. I just found this website 30 min ago and its great