I'm writing my college essays to apply to UT and i would really appreciate any help or criticism that this board can give me. The prompt is as follows:
"Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you."
(I'm new to this website, so please try to be gentle)
HARD-WORKING DAD
Last year, about mid-August, my father gathered the family in the living room and informed us that he had been diagnosed with cancer. A slight limp that he waved off as a muscle cramp turned into a cancerous tumor in the span of a month. With tears streaming down my face I ran to my father and embraced him tightly. My father tried to reassure us that everything was alright, but I could only foresee a grim outcome. My father would pass a mere two months later.
I know it may sound odd, but my father was truly my best friend. When I was in elementary school, I would rush home just so I could call my dad at work to see how his day was. Even when he would go on business trips, he would call home every night, sometimes twice a day, to talk to all of his children and see how we were doing.Not a day would go by when we wouldn't at least talk, and every day my father would think of some way to satiate our ravenous appetite for entertainment. He would take me and my brother to ball games, movies, concerts, wherever we wanted to go. Of course, sometimes we would get in fights, mainly because I would do something stupid or get a bad grade in school. I would always sulk after being yelled at, but I can see now that he only got angry at my mistakes because he wanted to see me do well and exceed.
Growing up, my father paid his way through college, and lived with unloving, apathetic parents who wouldn't even pretend to care about his life. Though my father had a bevy of close friends, his lack of a real family made him independent in nature. He did exceptionally well throughout school and got his Master's in Business Administration and a Bachelor's in English which launched a successful career in many big companies, most notably Dell, Timeplex, and Convergys. He was accepted into law school, but declined when my mother had problems during pregnancy. He worked hard throughout his life to make enough money to support his family and to give his kids the childhood that he never had.
My father was a kind-hearted, hardworking family man who never put his needs in front of the family's. He was also quite the jokester, always ready to embarrass himself to evoke a smile and laugh from his kids. My mom constantly tells me how I resemble my father and I'm grateful for that. To be honest, I envy my father. He was a funny, intelligent, and caring person and I pray I can become half the man that my father was.
As I sit here writing this essay, wishing my dad was here to help, I can't help but look back and hope that I've that my father was proud of me, that I wasn't a disappointment in his eyes. All I can do now is forge ahead and try to live the life that my father envisioned for me.
"Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you."
(I'm new to this website, so please try to be gentle)
HARD-WORKING DAD
Last year, about mid-August, my father gathered the family in the living room and informed us that he had been diagnosed with cancer. A slight limp that he waved off as a muscle cramp turned into a cancerous tumor in the span of a month. With tears streaming down my face I ran to my father and embraced him tightly. My father tried to reassure us that everything was alright, but I could only foresee a grim outcome. My father would pass a mere two months later.
I know it may sound odd, but my father was truly my best friend. When I was in elementary school, I would rush home just so I could call my dad at work to see how his day was. Even when he would go on business trips, he would call home every night, sometimes twice a day, to talk to all of his children and see how we were doing.Not a day would go by when we wouldn't at least talk, and every day my father would think of some way to satiate our ravenous appetite for entertainment. He would take me and my brother to ball games, movies, concerts, wherever we wanted to go. Of course, sometimes we would get in fights, mainly because I would do something stupid or get a bad grade in school. I would always sulk after being yelled at, but I can see now that he only got angry at my mistakes because he wanted to see me do well and exceed.
Growing up, my father paid his way through college, and lived with unloving, apathetic parents who wouldn't even pretend to care about his life. Though my father had a bevy of close friends, his lack of a real family made him independent in nature. He did exceptionally well throughout school and got his Master's in Business Administration and a Bachelor's in English which launched a successful career in many big companies, most notably Dell, Timeplex, and Convergys. He was accepted into law school, but declined when my mother had problems during pregnancy. He worked hard throughout his life to make enough money to support his family and to give his kids the childhood that he never had.
My father was a kind-hearted, hardworking family man who never put his needs in front of the family's. He was also quite the jokester, always ready to embarrass himself to evoke a smile and laugh from his kids. My mom constantly tells me how I resemble my father and I'm grateful for that. To be honest, I envy my father. He was a funny, intelligent, and caring person and I pray I can become half the man that my father was.
As I sit here writing this essay, wishing my dad was here to help, I can't help but look back and hope that I've that my father was proud of me, that I wasn't a disappointment in his eyes. All I can do now is forge ahead and try to live the life that my father envisioned for me.