This is my first draft for USC's short essays. Please feel free to criticize and pour out anything you feel about my essay. Looking forward for feedbacks and suggestions. Thankyou :)
1. Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections. (3500 characters)
I was 10 years old when my grandfather had a heart surgery. There was a coronary artery blockage that had caused blood to clump in his aortic arch. The arch was bloated and ready to burst any second as his heart continue pumping blood out. It was within the matter of split of seconds, had we been late to discover what was going on with grandfather, we would have to bare the sight of one empty seat in the dining table. It was the in-plant of a valve ring that saved him. The valve ring was inserted into his aortic arch to expand the cloaked size and allow blood to flow through the blockage. Since then, I felt in debt to the discovery of the valve ring. As years go by, I was keen into biological engineering studies, the technological development to aid the human health. The valve ring was a discovery from the biological engineering research department, so were the research on artificial organs like the limbs, heart, kidney, etc. It amazes me, the idea to create the human anatomy, to be able to be in control of the human body. Over the years, USC had been known for the intense research that had been undergone in the engineering department. It would be an honor to have an insight into their projects.
2. Engineering leaders do more than just solve technical problems. What kinds of experiences, inside and outside of the classroom, would you want to explore to enhance your studies?
You are reading this right now, has it ever occurred to you how is it that your eyeballs are able to deliberately move accordingly to the passage? The sky color is light blue to me, is that very same sky blue that I perceive reflected in your eyes too? The human mind is a vast entity, unpredictable and endless. I realized this as I attend 'Theory of Knowledge' classes along the IB Diploma program. I was taught to question everything, because there is no such thing as a solid answer. There are always different approaches to a solution, and there is no only one true solution, just like how the Gödel's theorem proved that even math is not free from contradiction. I am a curious person, and I do not like not knowing. What is it is in your mind? How did you even trigger that thought? How did you brain send signals to the muscles in your fingers to be typing into the computer? If I were being able to create artificial systems, maybe I could finally understand the beautiful mechanisms of the human system.
3. Engineers have sometimes been stereotyped as "nerds" or "geeks." Do you embrace or reject that stereotype? Why?
Who exactly do you call a geek? A smart, glasses, antisocial person? I see my brother hang out with his friends every weekend, with perfect eyesight and do not live in the library. Yet he is pursuing industrial engineering in USC. Thomas Alfa Edison spent his life experimenting on a light bulb and he succeeded after failing 1000 attempts. Did he spend all those years being a geek? If you call a man pursuing his passion a geek, then yes Edison was a geek. He was a passionate geek reaching out for his dreams, who finally succeeded and if it weren't for him, we would be living in darkness. That is what I picture engineers to be, individuals who have a burning passion to create and contribute to the world. In my eyes, engineers are not obsessive self-centered geeks who live with the books, but they utilized those thick heavy books for a purpose, to discover a phenomenon that will make the world a better place to live in.
Hi,
I love your essay. it clearly brings out your passion.
However, I only have few comments about your mechanics.
Line 2: continued not continue.
Line 3: I guess it you should put a period between seconds and had. The had.... sentence should be a new sentence.
I hope this helped.
