Hello everyone,
I am applying to Harvard and would truely appreciate some help making my essays better.
This is the essay I have written in response to the "indicate a person that has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence" prompt.
I have never hated a man as much as I hate Mr. John Warren. The man who lords over my fifth period band class is one of the most despicable and evil people I have ever met. He is known as the worst teacher in the school due to his sarcastic tendencies, his incredible self-centeredness, and his love of degrading students. The so-called educator of our band class is the only human being whom I have ever been angry enough to scream at, and I often get into arguments in which he attempts to get me to back down by insulting and threatening me. Yet John Warren has done me a service by giving me self-confidence, a quality that I was sorely lacking before I wandered into his band class for the first time.
Concert Bands I and III are subject to the iron fist of Mr. Warren. Concert Band III, the band that is reserved for freshmen, was the class where I first had the "pleasure" of meeting the man who would be my band instructor for the next four years. John's reputation preceded him: I was already fearful of him before I even walked into his room. For someone with as little courage as my younger self, going into the lion's den was an absolutely horrifying experience.
I was told near constantly as a child that I needed to have more confidence in myself. My timid composure kept me from standing up for myself, and the awful anxiety that would rush into my body each time I tried to talk to a stranger, even just to ask a hostess for a table for three, was almost enough to cause a panic attack. This being the case when I was a freshman, I allowed Mr. Warren to dehumanize me and force me to break other commitments in order to go to his insane before and after school practices. Soon I found that I would have to be skipping performances in other activities to attend simple practices if I was to please him. Before long I decided that this was simply unacceptable. It was the straw that broke the camel's back.
The policy that had shaped my entire life up to that point, deferring to others even if it means I am going the exact opposite direction of the way I wish to go, was about to be broken. When a trip to a Winnipeg band festival, which Mr. Warren had informed us that we would be attending just days before the date of departure, meant skipping a very important swim meet, I refused to go, a course of action which caused Mr. Warren to become irate, telling me that I was a failure and that he should kick me out of his band. I began to waiver in my resolve. I could feel the beads of sweat dripping slowly down my forehead. I hoped he couldn't see them. This was the first time I had ever stood up for myself in my whole life, and as a result I wasn't very good at it. However, thinking about all the terrible things this man had done to me, and would continue to do to me if I allowed him to, brought out new strength in me. I stuck with my decision and informed John Warren that his band was not the top priority in my life, and that I would be going to the swim meet whether he liked it or not. To my surprise, Mr. Warren soon backed down.
That day had a profound effect on my mental image of myself. I began to realize that I was my own person, a person with wants and needs that shouldn't be completely subject to those of others. I gained the self-confidence to believe that I didn't have to let bullies like John Warren keep me from pursuing the path I wished to take.
The next three years were riddled with more disagreements with my band teacher. The man and I must have been made to be complete opposites of one another. I will never like Mr. Warren, but his cruelty caused me to gain the self-assurance that has allowed me to pursue the path in life that is right for me, and not for someone else.
This is an essay I am considering for the Harvard supplement essay, which has no specific prompt. I am worried that it might make me seem very conceited.
Preparing for a theatrical production is never an easy task. It always seems that there is never enough time to erect the elaborate set and to learn all the lines and blocking, despite marathon practice sessions that often last from the early morning until the wee hours of the night on weekends and all afternoon and night on school days. Once all is said and done, the actors and actresses always seem frazzled and burnt out from the production despite the feeling of accomplishment.
Imagine an average high school play. The cast and crew of this play have been hard at work for nearly two long months. Suddenly disaster strikes: a lead member of the cast is charged with a minor in consumption one week before the first performance and thus is no longer allowed to participate in any high school activities, including this theatre production. Now imagine being asked by the director to learn the part of the suspended actor just four days before the first performance. Many would deem this an absolutely unreasonable request, yet this was an obstacle I had to overcome during my sophomore year of high school.
Throughout my eighth-grade and freshman years I had been involved in my high school's fall play productions. Despite having a natural aptitude for acting, I didn't enjoy my experiences; I felt as though every performance strained me and perhaps drained a part of who I was. As such, I decided not to audition for a role my sophomore year. However, as fate would have it, I had one last production in the works.
The director, a good friend of my family, informed me of her situation on a Saturday evening and asked that I read a script and get back to her later that night concerning whether or not I would assist her. The play was called Bonechiller, and I had never even heard of it, let alone read it, in my life. Her entreaty seemed impossible to comply with (the first performance would be the following Thursday), and yet I couldn't dash the hopes and dreams of the rest of the cast. And so, I agreed.
The stress brought on by this task was incredible. I had never been so anxious in my entire life. I reached inside myself in search of strength, and I found a resolve deep within me that I had never known existed. In addition to my schooling, I probably put in close to forty hours of practice in those four days. The best of my memorization skills were brought to the fore to learn my extensive list of lines. When that Thursday came around, I was shocked to find that I was actually extremely prepared.
The play was a complete success, and many attendees of the play approached me afterward to tell me that I was their favorite character. My fellow cast members were all extremely grateful for the work I had done. After four performances, I put away my costume for good. While taxing, my participation in the fall play showed me characteristics about myself that I had never known before: in part that I had strength and a work ethic that would allow me to overcome any dilemma that might arise in my future.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. I'm sorry if this is not the correct format for asking for such help, and I am also sorry that I am not a very good writer
Regards,
Sam
I am applying to Harvard and would truely appreciate some help making my essays better.
This is the essay I have written in response to the "indicate a person that has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence" prompt.
I have never hated a man as much as I hate Mr. John Warren. The man who lords over my fifth period band class is one of the most despicable and evil people I have ever met. He is known as the worst teacher in the school due to his sarcastic tendencies, his incredible self-centeredness, and his love of degrading students. The so-called educator of our band class is the only human being whom I have ever been angry enough to scream at, and I often get into arguments in which he attempts to get me to back down by insulting and threatening me. Yet John Warren has done me a service by giving me self-confidence, a quality that I was sorely lacking before I wandered into his band class for the first time.
Concert Bands I and III are subject to the iron fist of Mr. Warren. Concert Band III, the band that is reserved for freshmen, was the class where I first had the "pleasure" of meeting the man who would be my band instructor for the next four years. John's reputation preceded him: I was already fearful of him before I even walked into his room. For someone with as little courage as my younger self, going into the lion's den was an absolutely horrifying experience.
I was told near constantly as a child that I needed to have more confidence in myself. My timid composure kept me from standing up for myself, and the awful anxiety that would rush into my body each time I tried to talk to a stranger, even just to ask a hostess for a table for three, was almost enough to cause a panic attack. This being the case when I was a freshman, I allowed Mr. Warren to dehumanize me and force me to break other commitments in order to go to his insane before and after school practices. Soon I found that I would have to be skipping performances in other activities to attend simple practices if I was to please him. Before long I decided that this was simply unacceptable. It was the straw that broke the camel's back.
The policy that had shaped my entire life up to that point, deferring to others even if it means I am going the exact opposite direction of the way I wish to go, was about to be broken. When a trip to a Winnipeg band festival, which Mr. Warren had informed us that we would be attending just days before the date of departure, meant skipping a very important swim meet, I refused to go, a course of action which caused Mr. Warren to become irate, telling me that I was a failure and that he should kick me out of his band. I began to waiver in my resolve. I could feel the beads of sweat dripping slowly down my forehead. I hoped he couldn't see them. This was the first time I had ever stood up for myself in my whole life, and as a result I wasn't very good at it. However, thinking about all the terrible things this man had done to me, and would continue to do to me if I allowed him to, brought out new strength in me. I stuck with my decision and informed John Warren that his band was not the top priority in my life, and that I would be going to the swim meet whether he liked it or not. To my surprise, Mr. Warren soon backed down.
That day had a profound effect on my mental image of myself. I began to realize that I was my own person, a person with wants and needs that shouldn't be completely subject to those of others. I gained the self-confidence to believe that I didn't have to let bullies like John Warren keep me from pursuing the path I wished to take.
The next three years were riddled with more disagreements with my band teacher. The man and I must have been made to be complete opposites of one another. I will never like Mr. Warren, but his cruelty caused me to gain the self-assurance that has allowed me to pursue the path in life that is right for me, and not for someone else.
This is an essay I am considering for the Harvard supplement essay, which has no specific prompt. I am worried that it might make me seem very conceited.
Preparing for a theatrical production is never an easy task. It always seems that there is never enough time to erect the elaborate set and to learn all the lines and blocking, despite marathon practice sessions that often last from the early morning until the wee hours of the night on weekends and all afternoon and night on school days. Once all is said and done, the actors and actresses always seem frazzled and burnt out from the production despite the feeling of accomplishment.
Imagine an average high school play. The cast and crew of this play have been hard at work for nearly two long months. Suddenly disaster strikes: a lead member of the cast is charged with a minor in consumption one week before the first performance and thus is no longer allowed to participate in any high school activities, including this theatre production. Now imagine being asked by the director to learn the part of the suspended actor just four days before the first performance. Many would deem this an absolutely unreasonable request, yet this was an obstacle I had to overcome during my sophomore year of high school.
Throughout my eighth-grade and freshman years I had been involved in my high school's fall play productions. Despite having a natural aptitude for acting, I didn't enjoy my experiences; I felt as though every performance strained me and perhaps drained a part of who I was. As such, I decided not to audition for a role my sophomore year. However, as fate would have it, I had one last production in the works.
The director, a good friend of my family, informed me of her situation on a Saturday evening and asked that I read a script and get back to her later that night concerning whether or not I would assist her. The play was called Bonechiller, and I had never even heard of it, let alone read it, in my life. Her entreaty seemed impossible to comply with (the first performance would be the following Thursday), and yet I couldn't dash the hopes and dreams of the rest of the cast. And so, I agreed.
The stress brought on by this task was incredible. I had never been so anxious in my entire life. I reached inside myself in search of strength, and I found a resolve deep within me that I had never known existed. In addition to my schooling, I probably put in close to forty hours of practice in those four days. The best of my memorization skills were brought to the fore to learn my extensive list of lines. When that Thursday came around, I was shocked to find that I was actually extremely prepared.
The play was a complete success, and many attendees of the play approached me afterward to tell me that I was their favorite character. My fellow cast members were all extremely grateful for the work I had done. After four performances, I put away my costume for good. While taxing, my participation in the fall play showed me characteristics about myself that I had never known before: in part that I had strength and a work ethic that would allow me to overcome any dilemma that might arise in my future.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. I'm sorry if this is not the correct format for asking for such help, and I am also sorry that I am not a very good writer
Regards,
Sam
