This is my common app essay. It is pretty long, 1004 words. I need help with condensing it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!!!!
Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
Pura Vida
My hero is no James Bond. He stands only 4 feet 7 inches tall, has a missing tooth, and a smile that extends far beyond the outer creases of his eyes. He likes to color pictures of dragons and brave knights instead of wrapping his head around algebra. I will probably never see my hero again, I don't even remember his name, but the impact he made on my life is indescribable. There was nothing special about him; he was a ten year old boy, attending school.
The school was Escuela El Dos in San Ramon, Costa Rica. I was in tenth grade biology, on a one-week trip, learning about biodiversity. There was a lot to learn about the environment of Costa Rica but to truly get a sense of the real Costa Rica, I needed to venture beyond the tourist attractions. San Ramon is an impoverished area, where most people work as farmers, and education is sparse. When I signed up for the trip, I was told to bring school supplies and children's shoes because we would be visiting a school that needed these items. At the time, I thought the shoes were a strange request from a school. Schools in Houston certainly do not list shoes on their supply lists.
We arrived at the school early in the morning; it was raining. I looked down; I saw my shoes being devoured by this murky brown substance. I was disgusted, I wanted to jump back on the bus and go back to the hotel instead of going inside this little shack. Then, I realized that the building in front of me with a red tin roof and bar covered windows, was a school. Twenty children jumped around and waving from the small covered porch. They ran towards us, a little boy grabbed my hand. He was smaller than most of the other boys. He said, "Hola!" I replied, "Buenos Dias!" I do not speak Spanish, but I tried to communicate with what minimal Spanish I had. All the children gathered around my class and music began to play from a small boom box, they started dancing. The little boy that grabbed my hand caught my attention; I noticed his shoes. They were bulky and too big for his tiny dancing feet. They were covered in layers of the same oozing mud that I was so disgusted by; his face showed no sign of repugnance. He seemed as happy as any child I ever knew.
I learned that most of these children lived in horrid conditions, owned a single pair of shoes, and possessed little means to entertain themselves besides attending school. "They have one pair of shoes?" I thought to myself. I have at least thirty pairs. I looked at this boy and wondered how many siblings he had, if he had enough food for his growing body. How could such a little thing faced with so many challenges be smiling like this? He showed me around the meager schoolhouse. He led me to the lunchroom, there was a fantastic array fruit out for us to eat, I muttered "Gracias!" He responded, "Pura Vida!" "Pura Vida" translates to "Pure Life". I noticed the pride in his voice when he spoke his country's motto. I understood what it meant. "Pura Vida" means that it doesn't matter how many shoes you have or if it's raining, life is for smiling, dancing, and happiness. The little boy's financial hardships don't stop him from living life to the fullest.
That vivacious little boy is the embodiment of "Pura Vida". The hardships of his life didn't matter, his eternal smile and overflowing heart shown true happiness. He was loved the life he was given. After the trip to Escuela El Dos, I realized that I should not let little things bring me down. Sophomore year, I received grades that didn't meet my standards because of the difficulty adjusting to the AP course load. I laid in my bed, remembering the beaming smile that lit up "Pura Vida's" face. It reminded me that there was nothing I could do to change the past year. I would work harder my junior and senior years and raise my grades; "Pura Vida" instilled his country's philosophy in me. I will overcome challenges with a smile that extends far beyond the outer creases of my eyes just as "Pura Vida" did.
Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
Pura Vida
My hero is no James Bond. He stands only 4 feet 7 inches tall, has a missing tooth, and a smile that extends far beyond the outer creases of his eyes. He likes to color pictures of dragons and brave knights instead of wrapping his head around algebra. I will probably never see my hero again, I don't even remember his name, but the impact he made on my life is indescribable. There was nothing special about him; he was a ten year old boy, attending school.
The school was Escuela El Dos in San Ramon, Costa Rica. I was in tenth grade biology, on a one-week trip, learning about biodiversity. There was a lot to learn about the environment of Costa Rica but to truly get a sense of the real Costa Rica, I needed to venture beyond the tourist attractions. San Ramon is an impoverished area, where most people work as farmers, and education is sparse. When I signed up for the trip, I was told to bring school supplies and children's shoes because we would be visiting a school that needed these items. At the time, I thought the shoes were a strange request from a school. Schools in Houston certainly do not list shoes on their supply lists.
We arrived at the school early in the morning; it was raining. I looked down; I saw my shoes being devoured by this murky brown substance. I was disgusted, I wanted to jump back on the bus and go back to the hotel instead of going inside this little shack. Then, I realized that the building in front of me with a red tin roof and bar covered windows, was a school. Twenty children jumped around and waving from the small covered porch. They ran towards us, a little boy grabbed my hand. He was smaller than most of the other boys. He said, "Hola!" I replied, "Buenos Dias!" I do not speak Spanish, but I tried to communicate with what minimal Spanish I had. All the children gathered around my class and music began to play from a small boom box, they started dancing. The little boy that grabbed my hand caught my attention; I noticed his shoes. They were bulky and too big for his tiny dancing feet. They were covered in layers of the same oozing mud that I was so disgusted by; his face showed no sign of repugnance. He seemed as happy as any child I ever knew.
I learned that most of these children lived in horrid conditions, owned a single pair of shoes, and possessed little means to entertain themselves besides attending school. "They have one pair of shoes?" I thought to myself. I have at least thirty pairs. I looked at this boy and wondered how many siblings he had, if he had enough food for his growing body. How could such a little thing faced with so many challenges be smiling like this? He showed me around the meager schoolhouse. He led me to the lunchroom, there was a fantastic array fruit out for us to eat, I muttered "Gracias!" He responded, "Pura Vida!" "Pura Vida" translates to "Pure Life". I noticed the pride in his voice when he spoke his country's motto. I understood what it meant. "Pura Vida" means that it doesn't matter how many shoes you have or if it's raining, life is for smiling, dancing, and happiness. The little boy's financial hardships don't stop him from living life to the fullest.
That vivacious little boy is the embodiment of "Pura Vida". The hardships of his life didn't matter, his eternal smile and overflowing heart shown true happiness. He was loved the life he was given. After the trip to Escuela El Dos, I realized that I should not let little things bring me down. Sophomore year, I received grades that didn't meet my standards because of the difficulty adjusting to the AP course load. I laid in my bed, remembering the beaming smile that lit up "Pura Vida's" face. It reminded me that there was nothing I could do to change the past year. I would work harder my junior and senior years and raise my grades; "Pura Vida" instilled his country's philosophy in me. I will overcome challenges with a smile that extends far beyond the outer creases of my eyes just as "Pura Vida" did.
