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High School: My self-realization: a significant experience and its impact on you



Kevin 1 / 1  
Apr 9, 2007   #1
High School: My self-realization

High school may mean a place solely for socializing and drama for some teenagers, or it may mean nothing at all to others. While that is true to some adolescents, there are ones that take full advantage of this eye-opening experience. I realize the importance of socializing as a way to build self-esteem and lasting friendships; but I commit to that activity in moderation. I treat high school as a large opportunity with many doors to success. In return, I have acquired precious connections with other students, teachers, and citizens of the community; a sense of self-worth; and beneficial skills that successfully prepare me for a college workload.

I had always had compassion and regard for other people, but little did I know that when I decided to become a member of the Gautier High School Junior Civitan Club that I was going to realize my potential to positively affect others by my own actions. As a member of this hands-on organization, I get the opportunity to serve the community in an enlightening, meaningful way. From participating in city-wide cleanups to visiting disadvantaged children at a home to hosting annual charities such as "Leap for Love", I realize the exceptional impact and difference I can make for others in the community. One such connection I made was the time when our club worked together to arrange a Halloween Party for our dear senior citizens at the River Chase Nursing Home. While entertaining the elders, I felt that together the other club members and I were doing a significant part by "lifting their spirits." When one elder with a face flushed with gratitude pulled me aside, she said, "Young man, you are all so wonderful and it is so nice of you all to do this for us," her appreciation of our efforts made me feel important and granted me a sense of self-worth. Hence, my interest in serving the community sparked and flourished.

On the more scholastic side, my courses in high school, especially my Advanced Placement classes, have taken my learning experience to another level. These classes, along with my hungry curiosity, have unveiled the great depths of subjects like English Literature. For example, my English teacher guided me to "read between the lines" in a piece of literature. This manner of reading allows me to assess the broad view of the work and implications that tie the story together, such as uncovering themes and literary elements like foreshadowing and symbolism that occurs within the story. I found that skill useful to me when I read "The Grapes of Wrath" by John Steinbeck. I uncovered themes, motifs, and symbols that would have been unnoticed if it were not for this challenging, college-level class. I am grateful that I underwent these wondrous classes, for I amassed the skills that gives learning, especially reading, a whole new meaning to me.

In closing, my high school career has sculpted my well-roundedness. It has also granted me an appetite for more service and commitment to others and a desire to uncover wonders that lay at the depths of a school subject. Today, I wish to pursue a career in pharmacy. It is the perfect job for me not just because of the fact that I will be able to positively affect and better my patients' lives everyday, but also with my eagerness to learn as I progress. With new medicines pouring from pharmaceutical companies everyday, I know that I will be ready to learn about and keep up with the debuts of these new drugs.

OP Kevin 1 / 1  
Apr 9, 2007   #2
Dear moderators or whomever it may concern,

Will you take the content of this essay into consideration too? Any feedback would do. Thank you sooo much!! I want this essay to be GREAT.
EF_Team  [Moderator] 41 / 219  
Apr 9, 2007   #3
Sure, we will provide a detailed feedback within 24 hours or less. Thanks,

EssayForum.com
EF_Team2 1 / 1703  
Apr 10, 2007   #4
Greetings!

You've written a really great essay! There is very little about it that needs work; I'll just make some small editing suggestions:

"Leap for Love", - In American English (as opposed to British), commas and periods always go inside the quotation mark (unless it's a single letter, as in the letter "Q", or a grade of "A".)

I felt that together the other club members and I were doing a significant part by "lifting their spirits." - You should put commas before and after "together"--if you keep it in; personally, I think it interrupts the flow and you don't need the word "together" there. Also, you really don't need quotes around "lifting their spirits"; it's not an unfamiliar phrase, nor are you using it in a nonstandard way, so the quotation marks are unnecessary.

I am grateful that I underwent these wondrous classes, for I amassed the skills that gives learning, especially reading, a whole new meaning to me. - Usually, "underwent" refers more to an ordeal, such as "I underwent surgery." How about something with a more positive ring, like "I am grateful that I had the opportunity to take these life-changing courses"? Also, "skills" is plural, so say "give" instead of "gives."

It is the perfect job for me, [add comma] not just because of the fact that I will be able to positively affect and better my patients' lives every day, but also because of my eagerness to learn as I progress. - In this sentence and the next one, "every day" should be two words. Use "everyday" as an adjective to describe something ordinary, like "Those are my everyday jeans."

Great work! Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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