"a history that began in rural Mississippi" - Michigan short culture essay

Rural Mississippi

Tethered to the world by the chains of history; I covet the stories of my ancestors. I am defined by my community, by my ethnicity, and by my history, but I am also defined by unique identity.

My family history began in Sharon, Mississippi where my great-great grandmother Minerva Mae Davis married Reggie Caleb Porter and later made a home with their nine children: Phillip, Eldridge, Reggie Jr., Lloyd, Minnie, John, Coleman, Robert, and Maudell. Reggie Sr., a railroad worker, died in a train accident and Minerva Mae died of kidney failure after sitting in a hospital waiting room for two days. She was denied treatment because of her ethnicity, constantly being shoved down the waiting list every time a Caucasian walked through the door. Eventually, Minerva Mae acquiesced to her fate and returned home where she died in her sleep. Therefore, after the death of her parents, Minnie, the oldest took over the care of her younger siblings.

This story is the foundation of my heritage, a history that began in rural Mississippi, but now, occupies a multitude of different geographies. I am a member of the Minerva May Davis family, her community. A community that now encompasses different religions, education levels, and incomes.

I am among the two hundred proud individuals that attends the family reunion each Fourth of July, sporting the uniform brightly colored family t-shirt. Moreover, I sit perched among the family tree as the granddaughter of Reggie Jr., the second youngest child of Reggie Sr. and Minerva Mae.

I feel like this is missing something and needs work so any comments are greatly appreciated and I will read your essay in return. Thank you

I am defined by my community, by my ethnicity, and by my history, but I am also defined by my unique identity.

Tethered to the world by the chains of history, I covet the stories of my ancestors.

Therefore, after the death of her parents, Minnie, the oldest took over the care of her younger siblings.

I am among the two hundred proud individuals that attends the family reunion each Fourth of July, sporting the uniform brightly colored family reunion t-shirt.

Moreover, I sit perched among the family tree as the granddaughter of Reggie Jr., the second youngest child of Reggie Sr. and Minerva Mae.

I think you should add more to the end the current ending leaves you expecting more from the story. I would say to talk more about yourself and how it goes along with your family history.

Right here, because you just told about the unfortunate discrimination, it would be great to add a sentence in this paragraph to tell about the insight you gain from this anecdote you just told... about the discrimination, I mean. In this paragraph, it would be good to add a sentence of reflection on what you can learn from that story and how it will apply to the work you want to do in the future.

Tethered to the world by the chains of history, I admire----This is AWESOME! Even though it is already a great sentence, think about how it would be if you replaced chains with a different noun. Tethered already expresses the idea of being "chained" to something, so you have the option to write something like..."Tethered to the world by the (any noun) of history, I admire...

Many possibilities are available for you there.

Great job!