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Horticulture Club - University of Georgia/intellectual or creative opportunity



jillianmg 1 / -  
Oct 30, 2013   #1
Prompt: Choose an intellectual or creative opportunity (for example, community involvement, a summer program, a unique project, travel abroad, etc.) from your high school years that you have enjoyed and highlight how you have grown personally because of the experience. (200 Word Limit)

My close friend, Teri had always been in love with plants. Since the time I first met her in third grade, I noticed how she marveled over trees and flowers. Teri carried her love of nature with her to high school (different than mine), where she happily enrolled in the school's Horticulture class, a lovely opportunity that my school did not offer. However, after only a year, the class was shut down. Teri was devastated and immediately took matters into her own hands: she created a Horticulture Club, and put the greenhouse back to good use.

I had never been able to understand Teri's love of nature, and although I was not a student at Pope High School, the thought of getting to connect with my old friend and meet new people was wonderful. I began donating my time after school to drive to Pope, and help plant new fruits and vegetables for the school, clean the greenhouse and learn about agriculture. Through this process, I was able to make new friends as well as understand the amazing beauty of plants. The Horticulture Club has helped me understand the importance of caring for and giving back to the environment which has taken care of us for so long.

bongobl 2 / 3  
Nov 2, 2013   #2
Hi, what I do like about this is that it shows your good commitment to something that is beyond the scope of school or any class or course whatsoever.

What I'm not crazy about is how u talk about your friend very much. You mention that SHE had the leadership qualities to create a club, SHE had the very distinctive and long lasting love for plants. The only qualities I see you mention about you is that you are a loyal friend, you can make new friends and you can help plant new fruits. It's pretty commonplace.

If she is a very important person in your life and someone you idol, talk more about how she has changed you as a friend and things that you picked up from her because I feel like your are just describing yourself as someone who benefited from something that someone else did.

If you have any questions, just ask,
ps: you went 8 words over the word count.


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