"the hospital room" - Common app short answer critique?

Is it too short? Also is it grammatically correct? The maximum amount of words was 150.

As I enter into the hospital room, slowly rolling a wheelchair, I'm the first person to see the patient's smile when he realizes that he's heading home. At Jupiter Medical Center, I'm an escort volunteer meaning that discharging patients and transporting blood samples are typical tasks that I perform. And while these services can be viewed as busy work, I view them as extremely insightful as I am able to take some time to learn a patient's story or strike up a conversion with doctors from many fields. Ultimately, this simple volunteer service has allowed me to acquire medical knowable as well as develop my bedside manner.

I like the wording. In the last sentence change knowable to knowledge. Maybe spice it up a little. I would also reccomend you change this sentence:

And while these services can be viewed as busy work, I view them as extremely insightful as I am able to take some time to learn a patient's story or strike up a conversion with doctors from many fields.

Because it should not begin with And.

As I enter into the hospital room, slowly rolling a wheelchair, I'mam the first person to see the patient's smile when he realizes that he'sis heading home. At Jupiter Medical Center I'mwork as an escort volunteer, meaning thatwhich involves discharging patients and transporting blood samples are typical tasks that I perform . And whileAlthough these services can beare viewed as busy work by some , I view them as extremely insightful.as I am able to take some time to learn a patient's story or strike up a conversion with doctors from many fields. Ultimately, this simple volunteer service has allowedgiven me to acquire medical knowableknowledgeas well asand developed my bedside manner.

With these revisions you are at 100 words, so you will be able to add some more details about how the experience has been insightful for you.

Thank you both very much! Do you think that these additions to the end are insightful?

Both of which, are two invaluable acquisitions which shall serve me well as my lifelong aspiration is to be a cardiologist. After attaining my goal, I will look back on my humble escort job as my first critical step.

Anyone?