'Hospital Volunteer' - your extracurricular activities

I'm applying to DePaul right now. One of the two prompts is to elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities. This is my response. Please give me your honest advice! Anything is appreciated! Thank you :)

"Many would think volunteering in the hospital coffee shop is not a fulfilling experience; after all, you are just serving coffee and snacks to visitors and staff. I thought that at first too, at least until I started my first day. Shelly, my adviser, held me accountable for completing numerous tasks throughout the day. During my four-hour shift, I watched as doctors rushed back and forth from hospital rooms to the coffee shop for quick lunch breaks. I also dealt with distressed patients and their family members as they came in to the shop to distract themselves from their problems. Meeting many of the nurses and other professionals allowed me to create strong connections. Working in the coffee shop, I learned to understand and appreciate the connection doctors, families, and patients made with each other. Ultimately, this simple service taught me how to interact and communicate with different people."

:)

It's supposed to be 150 words or less.

" Many would think that volunteering in the hospital coffee shop is not a fulfilling experience; after all, you are just serving coffee and snacks to visitors and staff.

Working in the coffee shop, I learned to understand and appreciate the connection that doctors, patients, and their families made with each other.

Ultimately, this simple service taught me how to interact and communicate with different people."

You don't need quotation marks at the beginning and end of your essay. It is quite well written though. Good luck in school and have fun!

:)