Individually, I am determined, hopeful, ambitious and grateful. I typically find I am strongest at those times I feel I am weakest. I'm a survivor of various life altering circumstances and have learned that it's the challenging points in life that help us gain strength and grow as individuals. I am strongly motivated toward personal success. I measure my personal success in terms of productivity and usefulness, physical, emotional and spiritual health, attainment of my goals as well as maintaining the ability to find joy in every day.
Of most importance to me in my life at this point is continuous growth, achieving my degree in my academic discipline of choice, nursing, and ultimately building into a strong career where I can utilize my skills, be of service and provide myself with a sustainable life. I'm focused, self disciplined and compassionate. My passions in life include my family, dancing, exercising routinely and I've been volunteering at animal shelters since age ten.
I believe any extenuating circumstances that could add value to my application would be those times in my life that I have been without basic necessities, the grief I've endured over the loss of my father, home and all sense of security. These experiences may only be considered valuable because they've strengthened my determination to achieve my own goals and build a solid and secure life for myself. I have gained self confidence in overcoming such situations and know that I am capable of overcoming nearly any obstacle in my life. My greatest weakness is that I am at times too hard on myself and occasionally fail to recognize the simple successes I achieve day to day.
My academic background is limited as I am just beginning my studies, however my passion for the science of medicine and strong interest in anatomy, coupled with a high interest level in the humanitarian aspects of medicine have all played a part in my decision to study the field of nursing.
This is just a draft, but let me know what you think :)
Individually, I am determined, hopeful, ambitious and grateful.--- I don't like this sentence. Individually does not really signify anything, and the words are meaningless if you just list them... 'show, don't tell.' I think you should scrap this sentence and use a more inspired one. :-)
Of most importance to me in my life at this point is continuous growth, achieving my degree in my academic discipline of choice, nursing, and ultimately building into a strong career where I can utilize my skills, be of service and provide myself with a sustainable life.---- in a sentence as long as this one, you really should eliminate some words if possible. Long sentences are like obese cats: they are just as valid as other cats, but they could stand to lose a few pounds.
Of most importance to me in my life at this point is continuous growth, achieving my degree in my academic discipline of choice, Nursing is most important to me at this point in life, and I am being proactive about my independent study about nursing philosophy and practice while I wait to become a UT student.
ultimately building into a strong career where I can utilize my skills, be of service and provide myself with a sustainable life. --- see, I scratch out this stuff because it does not really have any meaning, any substance. Know what I mean? Each sentence has to say something that is meaningful and not obvious.
I like your last paragraph a lot! I like the specifics. As you revise, tell specific details about your outlook for the future.
My greatest weakness is that I am at times too hard on myself and occasionally fail to recognize the simple successes I achieve day to day.----- I think this sentence is not helpful; you can convey a sense that you are this way without coming right out and saying it.
:-)
