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'images have lingered to this day' - Cornell College of HumanEc



CollegeHopefuls 4 / 7  
Dec 28, 2011   #1
Prompt: What do you value about the College of Human Ecology perspective and the majors that interest you, as you consider your academic goals and plans for the future?

It happened so quickly. The ambulance, the distorted man in emergency room, the hospital monitor - these images have lingered to this day. I remember the nurse coming out and telling us the news. How he fought, struggled, and failed. I was eleven at that time, but fully aware. I resented death for taking Grandpa away - my source of solace - without any warning. Suddenly he just collapsed and went into an episode of heart attack, never coming back.

I was determined to find the truth. As I delved into the sea of web resources and scientific texts, I began to have a clearer understanding of Grandpa's condition. His heart attack was not as simple as one "faulty" gene, but more of an accumulation of biological and outside factors. Stress and bad eating habit had likely contributed to the attack. During my research, I began to realize my affinity toward medicine. Not only am I intrigued by the complex human body, I still hold that naïve child's wish: to heal. I want to reduce the pain and mend the wound of the family - to advance and improve the human experience.

With my heart set on medicine, I pursue a science-heavy curriculum in high school. My AP biology textbook is the gateway to the world of infinite possibilities. I have never ceased to marvel the intricate designs of a Venus's Flytrap or the Pailio demodocus, a butterfly species found in sub-Saharan Africa. These intricacies do not evolve in isolation. They develop as a result of interactions in the ecosystem. Thus, in order to get the complete picture, I want to study the human body in context of our environment. The College of Human Ecology, specifically Human Biology, Health, and Society (HBHS), offers the opportunity for me to explore human condition not only in a purely biological angle, but also in the light of social, economic, and cultural implications.

My interest in the sciences doesn't stop in the high school setting. I desire for more. Last summer, I seized the opportunity to explore and research advanced genetic topics in relation to the human body and health. Though the experience at Stanford University was rewarding, it presented a rather limited perspective - theoretical and solely biological.

The College of Human Ecology completes the puzzle.

It offers everything that I want. The HBHS's multidisciplinary program fosters a refreshing approach to medicine. View complex health problems in a multifaceted lens. Develop critical thinking and problem solving skills as I tackle today's societal challenges. The College also brings theoretical education to life through experiential learning. Independent research, internship, study abroad - I can't wait for what Cornell has to offer. As a medical seminar attendee and hospital intern, I will surely launch for the valuable opportunities. Working toward the College's noble mission to enrich the human experience, I plan to become a versatile physician, benefitting people not only in a localized area, but all around the world.

I need some help for grammar and advice/suggestion for the overall essay. I wasn't sure which verb tense to use so I would appreciate it if you guys can take a look. Thanks! And I'll try and give feedback for your essays as well.

dasadhikarik 5 / 10  
Dec 28, 2011   #2
Pretty good! I'm applying to the College of Engineering myself, and I'd say you've done a better job at answering the prompt than I have.

the distorted man in emergency room

"the distorted man in the emergency room"

an accumulation of biological and outside factors

"an accumulation of biological and external factors"
-I guess it's fine the way you wrote it; just seemed a bit awkward

Stress and bad eating habit

"Stress and bad eating habits "

to explore human condition not only in a purely biological angle

"to explore the human condition not only from a purely biological angle"

Independent research, internship, study abroad

"Independent research, internships , study abroad"

View complex health problems in a multifaceted lens. Develop critical thinking and problem solving skills as I tackle today's societal challenges.

-This seems grammatically out of context--it doesn't flow from the sentence before it

As far as verb tenses go, what you've done, switching from past to present seems fine to me as there is a prominent time gap in your narrative, but I've been accused of doing the same thing unnecessarily by my English teachers, so I can't really say!

I'd advise going through your essay with a very fine comb. There are always small ambiguities that you might want to get rid of, and which others can't detect.

I'd really appreciate if you could review my Cornell "Eggcellent" essay for the College of Engineering! I'll post the link later.
yusra12 6 / 24  
Dec 28, 2011   #3
wow,thats quite a compelling essay. I really like it!
it seems Dasadhikari found all the grammer mistakes,and with content youre good. You can try talking more about your specific major in the college if youd like.

good luck!


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