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UC- Important Personal Experience- Missing A Flight



purplesocks 2 / 4  
Oct 22, 2009   #1
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

I pushed myself to run faster, even as I felt my flip-flops slip. Through the glass windows, I saw an airplane take off, praying it was not ours. How could we confuse our departure time? My family and I finally reached our gate, and I relaxed, seeing a plane with our flight number immobile on the runway. However, from the look on the flight attendant's face, I realized that we were about to miss our flight and hearing her say, "I'm sorry, they are all ready for take-off", was like getting sucker-punched in the gut. Most times, missing my flight would be a small inconvenience. However, I needed to be on that flight to Los Angeles, California because the following day I was driving to Stanford University to attend a pre-college program on Biology and Psychology. The previous day, I was at my cousins' wedding in Copenhagen, Denmark, so I already missed orientation. Being late one more day meant I would not be able to attend the program. Hyperventilating, I studied the "Departures" board, looking for the next flight to Los Angeles.

We found a phone in a lounge and while my dad was talking with Transfer Services, I paced nervously behind him, chomping down potato chips. I could not function; all I could do was gape at the fact that my dad was listing dates and times in the next week. I glanced around hoping my mother and brother would share this incredulity. Instead, I found them leisurely on the computer playing Text Twist and on Yahoo. Why were they not freaking out? Then I thought, "Why am I freaking out?" With all the bad outcomes zipping through my mind, I did not realize how unproductive I was. Stuffing my face and breathing down my dad's neck would not change anything. In order for things to work out, I had to do something.

So, I took a deep breath, went to the nearest computer and looked for community colleges near Los Angeles. I was not taking any chances; if I could not attend my top choice program, I was not going to slum around all summer. Hours passed and my dad's face appeared behind my computer screen. The next flight with openings was four days later in Munich, Germany, a 12 hours train ride away, meaning I would not be able to attend Stanford. Although disappointed, I was not devastated, because I was able to find new summer plans. I took an Introduction to Philosophy course, where I read Sophie's World and learned about Hume, Socrates and many other philosophers. At a local shopping mall, I worked with co-workers so delightful that I looked foreword to my next shift. Also, I attended dance classes in Ballet, Jazz, Lyrical, Modern and Hip-hop, advancing my technique and expanding my dance styles. I am proud that I was able to relax when I was at the airport. Thanks to this experience, I know that frantically dwelling on the past will not change anything. This summer, I have become more flexible, both physically, for dance, and emotionally, for life. When plans fall through, I will make new ones, that exceed or at least equal my previous plans. In the future, instead of being disconcerted, I will find solutions.

aGar03 1 / 2  
Oct 22, 2009   #2
It's alright but doesn't stick to the prompt enough. Needs to show more about who you are as a person. Say something like you were able to perform under pressure and talk more about the whole "I can adapt to the circumstances" idea- I liked that part. Also, I don't see how the contrast of your frantic reaction with your parent's calmness helped your essay.

Good comments: i think it is a very original topic- you shouldn't go write a whole new essay. I like the tone also- makes you seem like a real person
EF_Stephen - / 262  
Oct 22, 2009   #3
This was obviously an important experience for you. That's what the prompt asks. How does it relate to the person you are? You've described it very well.

This is one of the few essays I've read that didn't seem forced. Your language feels natural, and you were just relating an experience as it happened, and what you learned from it. As a result, you are a much more attractive student prospect than if you had not had the experience. I honestly think that's what schools are looking for, that flexibility and adaptability you are going to need to negotiate four years or more of college.
hotsaucegrl 6 / 15  
Oct 24, 2009   #4
i like the tone of this essay and how you do a lot of showing and not telling

but i dont like the last paragraph , it seems like you start to list what happened afterward
and i think your last sentence could be better


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