"Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"
Please be brutally honest with this. This is my 2nd or 3rd draft.
Scouting is my life compass; it has guided me to discover myself and try out many activities uncommon for the typical scholar. It has been almost ten years since my dad recruited me into this co-ed Vietnamese-American troop that has integrated its laws and principles into my life. I've come to accept scouting not only as a family unit, but as a vital piece of my identity.
As a daughter of a scoutmaster, I felt pressured to work up to higher expectations in becoming a patrol leader. When high school started, I had to relearn the basics after being promoted to the Senior-Ambassador Girl Scout division. I was intimidated at first to take initiative again, not being fond of what my new group was, yet I soon learned to overcome the obstacles in taking charge. It was hard to express my ideas, but if I didn't say anything, then I wouldn't have made a potential change. It was fourteen months until the division selected me as the new Patrol Leader, for our group began to lack in leadership and involvement when my seniors pursued higher education.
After the majority of the division selected me, the members all depended on me to improve the group. I had to improve largely on dedication and organization in order to collaborate with them. I used to undertake every group task such as treasury and cooking, yet that would mean the other members would have nothing to contribute or learn from. To get them actively involved, I had to make them feel like they're an important part of a whole. Learning their strengths and weaknesses aided me in delegating the work fairly so that we can help one another develop our own skills. Not only did collaborating with them improved the group's skills, but it also strengthened the bonds that united us as sisters.
My mind's constantly thinking of new ways to create something better than the norm. Whenever my crew decides to plan something, I'm always willing to create new designs or plan out fun service projects and activities for everyone. It's the feeling of encouraging and communicating with my community to be a part of a whole that makes me feel so active in volunteering in my troop; the more people were engaged, the happier I was.
It was time, in my final high school years, for me to face my biggest task: the Girl Scout Gold Award project. After years of earning badges, I created a final project in which reaches out to current problems in the community and recently got promoted as a candidate. I chose cyber-bullying to oppose, and I plan to hold seminars before the end of the year at local middle schools to persuade the community to stand against it. As I'm getting closer to completion, I realized that this is a culmination of everything I've learned. If I was never a scout, I wouldn't be able to apply any skills from scouting towards my life, and I would constantly be taking orders from others without input. I wouldn't be as sociable and enthusiastic to invoke others. Scouting is an inseparable part that will always be part of my blood forever; the law, the mottos, and promise I vow to live up to for the rest of my life.
miwixkiwi
"Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"
Please be brutally honest with this. This is my 2nd or 3rd draft.
Scouting is my life compass; it has guided me to discover myself and try out many activities uncommon for the typical scholar. It has been almost ten years since my dad recruited me into this co-ed Vietnamese-American troop that has integrated its laws and principles into my life. I've come to accept scouting not only as a family unit, but as a vital piece of my identity.
As a daughter of a scoutmaster, I felt pressured to work up to higher expectations in becoming a patrol leader. When high school started, I had to relearn the basics after being promoted to the Senior-Ambassador Girl Scout division. I was intimidated at first to take initiative again, not being fond of what my new group was, yet I soon learned to overcome the obstacles in taking charge. It was hard to express my ideas, but if I didn't say anything, then I wouldn't have made a potential change. It was fourteen months until the division selected me as the new Patrol Leader, for our group began to lack in leadership and involvement when my seniors pursued higher education.
After the majority of the division selected me, the members all depended on me to improve the group. I had to improve largely( I would put: I had to improve significantly instead of largely) on dedication and organization in order to collaborate with them. I used to undertake every group task such as treasury and cooking, yet that would mean the other members would have nothing to contribute or learn from. To get them actively involved, I had to make them feel like they're an important part of a whole. Learning their strengths and weaknesses aided me in delegating the work fairly so that we can help one another develop our own skills. Not only did collaborating with them improved the group's skills, but it also strengthened the bonds that united us as sisters.
My mind's constantly thinking of new ways to create something better than the norm. Whenever my crew decides to plan something, I'm always willing to create new designs or plan out fun service projects and activities for everyone. It's the feeling of encouraging and communicating with my community to be a part of a whole that makes me feel so active in volunteering in my troop; the more people were engaged, the happier I was.
It was time, in my final high school years, for me to face my biggest task: the Girl Scout Gold Award project. After years of earning badges, I created a final project in which reaches out to current problems in the community and recently got promoted as a candidate. I chose cyber-bullying to oppose, and I plan to hold seminars before the end of the year at local middle schools to persuade the community to stand against it. As I'm getting closer to completion, I realized that this is a culmination of everything I've learned. If I was never a scout, I wouldn't be able to apply any skills from scouting towards my life, and I would constantly be taking orders from others without input. I wouldn't be as sociable and enthusiastic to invoke others. Scouting is an inseparable part that will always be part of my blood forever( here I would put either: Scouting is an inseperable part that will be in my blood forever or Scounting is something that will be in my blood forever). ; the law, the mottos, and promise I vow to live up to for the rest of my life.
Other than those couple things I think your essay is good. It is descriptive in what your essay is relating to but not to much and it stays on topic. These couple of things are just my opinion on what would sound better to the reader.
