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"improvement in my social skills and academics" - Why did you choose to apply to UCF?



UCF4Life 1 / -  
Mar 24, 2011   #1
I've always wanted to live in a place that is filled with opportunities for my choice of major which is finance and career path. I chose Florida. Not only because it's filled with opportunities, it's also my dream place to live in. I believe that living in a place you want to be in the most is really important to help you complete your education in a more relaxing way.

My next step was to find the right university. After doing some research on the internet, I found that University of Central Florida is my ultimate choice.

Browsing across UCF's site pumped up my excitement for attending there. I watched so many YouTube videos and watched how they all gathered up and ran in the pool before the home coming game. I would like to see me in it one day, it looked like it would be so much fun attending that. To me, social gatherings are really important for improving your social skills, and I read that UCF has a lot of those. Watching the environment and looking at the appearance which UCF has gives me the confidence and will make me look forward for tomorrow's surprising experience that it will give me.

Being one of the largest Universities in America, they still find a way to minimize the size of the classes to help the students to interact with the teacher. That shows that the university really care for the future of the students.

"A successful future is always motivated by a successful school!" I've came across a lot of great universities that would allow me to pursue my interest in finance, but after doing some research I found that none of them amount to UCF. I am sure that UCF is the university that will significantly educate me and allow me to become ethically and socially responsible.

Finally I look forward to having a great improvement in my social skills and academic development when I join UCF. It will be an honor and privilege to belong to the UCF community.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Mar 27, 2011   #2
Use a comma in this kind of situation:
I've always wanted to live in a place that is filled with opportunities for my choice of major, which is finance and __________ (What do you mean by career path?)

Let's not use "watched" 2 times: I watched so many YouTube videos and noticed watched how they all ...

I think it is important to write a little more about what you want to do in the field of finance. What books have you been reading about it? Articles? Where do you want to work? Get specific about the ideas you have developed as a result of your reading.

:-)


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