(incurable hereditary diseases) - reason to major in medicine

i am pursuing a scholarship. please help me in stating REASONS TO MAJOR IN MEDICINE.

I have always interested in majoring medicine. Since I was a little girl, I already have the dream to be a doctor. In fact, doctor is the first job that ever crossed in my mind when it come to what I want to pursue. Hence, I have been worked into the dream. I tell myself that I would worked hard to be one no matter what. Consequently, I grown up to be a girl which very determined in everything I engaged in.

To me, a doctor is a very noble work. It is not only about curing others, it is also involve in giving others the confidence towards their recovery. I always enjoys in lending other people a hand. Seeing smiles on them fills the light into my heart.

My father had suffered from Muscular Dystrophy, which is a terrible and incurable hereditary disease which had taken his life. This have also driven me to become a doctor.

I have always interested in majoring medicine. Since I was a little girl, I already have the dream to be a doctor. In fact, doctor is the first job that ever crossed in my mind when it come to what I want to pursue. Hence, I have been worked into the dream. I tell myself that I would worked hard to be one no matter what. Consequently, I grown up to be a girl which very determined in everything I engaged in.

To me, a doctor is a very noble work. It is not only about curing others, it is also involve in giving others the confidence towards their recovery. I always enjoys in lending other people a hand. Seeing smiles on them fills the light into my heart.

My father had suffered from Muscular Dystrophy, which is a terrible and incurable hereditary disease which had taken his life. This have also driven me to become a doctor.

please give me advice.. :)

I have always been interested in majoringstudying medicine. Since I was a little girl, I already have themy dream was to be a doctor. In fact, becoming a doctor is the first jobcareer goal that ever crossed in my mind when it come to what I pondered what I wanted to pursue. Hence, I have been worked into the dream.<----- (This sentence doesn't make sense) I tell myself that I will work hard to become one no matter what challenges I must face . Consequently, I have grown up to be a girl who is very determined at everything I engaged in. (you should not end your sentence with the word "in")

To me, a doctor's job is a very noble workprofession . It is not only about curing others, it is also involvesin giving otherspatientsthe confidence in their treatment andtheir recovery. I have always enjoyedin lending other people a hand. Seeing smiles on their facesfills thesends light into my heart.

My father had suffered from Muscular Dystrophy, which is a terrible and incurable hereditary disease,whichand had taken his life. This has also driven me to become a doctor.

Strengthen your conclusion, elaborate on how your father's illness inspired you to become a doctor. Nice work :) Good luck in school.