"From India to Pakistan" - HELP COMMON APP ESSAY

MY Essay is my life story. In the beginning I wrote the following lines. I don't like the it. Can somebody help me with this.

60 years ago my grandpa migrated from Hyderabad, Deccan in India to Pakistan. He had worked hard for Pakistan's creation and so migrated to see the fruit of his labor and give his family a better future.

Then my dad left his small hometown to find better education and job opportunities for himself and his family in a big city.
Today I am heading to world's greatest colleges to find a future for myself and my country.

What is your personal statement about? you sorta mite not want to make it so broad and say world's greatest colleges and might want to specify the school...

some tips... dont make it sound like an essay about ur dad or grandpa...
add intelligent vocab... hence the word intelligent... not neccessarily SAT words but words that show you have a large vocabulary... and use very very descriptive language...

I like the way you start with, "60 years ago..." it makes it really interesting. I think you should use the word Sixty instead of 60, though.

All your sentences are written well. Just meditate on a good theme, and wait for the sentences to come to mind.
:-)