My name is Elizabeth Reyes. I am from California with parent from Mexico. I have been living in Las Vegas, NV for the pass 6 years. With an advance diploma I graduated from Eldorado High School. I am the middle child in my family and the only one still living with them. I love them and Thank them so much for all they have done for me I can't just leave them and they don't want to let me go. Unfortunally a while ago I had to give them the news that am pregnant and made them be really disappointed in me. After this 4 months they have been supporting me and will for a while as well as my baby father. I love spending time with my family, walks in the park w my boyfriend, being with friends and spending lots of time w my 3 year old niece. Now I will like to tell you about my educational background. Since Fall 2008 I have been attending UNLV as well as CSN. I am in my second semester of my sophomore year studying Biology at University of Nevada Las Vegas. This semester am not attending CSN for the reason that I was able to enroll in all my classes at UNLV. Attending UNLV has been a huge experience because is nothing like high school. There is lots of help in campus that all students should take advantage of. My first year I though I knew it all and my grades weren't that pretty. Starting second year I joined study groups and went to the helping centers, I did great. I have had several classes that required me to log in to web campus to take quizzes, exams, lectures and getting help. I have been able to do almost everything on web campus the huge problem I had is e-mailing with attachments. I just can't add the attachments I think is just my computer.
Indroduction esssay for a professor, can someone help me make it better!
In the beginning you astart nearly every sentence with " I", I would change that...use different sentence stuctures...
For the sake of good structure, you have to know what the central idea of your essay is going to be. You have to structure it around the central idea. These facts you state at the start are valid facts, but are they important for inclusion in this essay? Decide on ONE purpose for the essay, one experience you want to provide for the reader, and focus on that... on that main theme.
This is where it really starts:
Unfortunately , a while ago I had to give them the news that am pregnant and make them feel really disappointed in me.
After this 4 months they have been supporting me and will for a while as well as my baby father. --- i don't know what tis sentence means, but more importantly, I still don't know what the essay is about. at the end of your first paragraph, you should give a sentence that tells the main theme for the essay.
Since Fall 2008 I have been attending UNLV as well as CSN. I am in my second semester of my sophomore year studying Biology at University of Nevada Las Vegas. This semester I am not attending CSN for the reason...
There are lots of helpful resources on campus that all students should take advantage of.
Decide on a theme... perhaps your theme is connected to your idea for what academic program and career you want for yourself. Based on your intentions for the future, write an essay that expresses to the reader a strong desire and a willingness to work hard to achieve meaningful goals.
:-)
