Infinities of Chess - U of I at Urbana Champain Essay

In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience, or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it

This is the one I wrote for common app, but I think it really does a good job answering the prompt. What do you guys think? It's only 140 words though, should I write more to make it 300 words?

Infinities of Chess

As a thinker, I have always enjoyed games that exercise the infinite possibilities of mind. Chess is among the best; it not only challenges one's brain but also builds sportsmanship and friendship. Perhaps it is a universe of its own, with pieces that represent phenomenon, and perhaps it has its own law called the "rules of game." It's a war on the board but can also be thought of as science, sport, and art. Every game teaches a lesson. The key to success is not only intelligence but also persistence. Each mistake made will be a stepping stone to success. Even though it's a game, I do take it seriously. Chess is the game of mind and soul, and enhances problem solving that can be used in real life every day. It is a part of my soul. Checkmate!

As a thinker, I have always enjoyed games that exercise the infinite possibilities of the mind. Chess is among the best; it not only challenges one's brain but also builds sportsmanship and friendship. Perhaps it is a universe of its own, with pieces that represent phenomenon. and perhaps it has its own law called the "rules of game." On the board, it's a war, but it is also a science, a sport, and an art. Every game teaches a lesson. The key to success is not only intelligence but also persistence. Each mistake made is a lesson learned.Even though chess is a game, I do take it seriously. Chess is a game of learning -- it enhances problem solving that can be used in real life every day. It is a part of my soul. Checkmate!

The "checkmate!" bit is cute, but it is rather tangential and frankly, unnecessary, in my opinion.

Otherwise, good job!

hi,the para is written. Ending with "Checkmate!" is kinda interesting.
One suggestion: you focus more on what is chess and what chess brings but ignore the most important person, you! You can gear your sentences a bit to make the impact made by chess unique to you and you only! More, if space allows, you can add in an experience when you utilize concepts you've learnt from chess to solve problems in reality.

Merry Christmas!

I too play chess and I thought it was very good. Nothing I would change.

demuredelight
Hi, thank you for repling

ummm... What's para?...

My brother goes to U of I Urbana Champain too!
and I love to play chess as well.
anyways,,
Your essay looks good and I think the ending was creative
but I think you need to be a bit more personal as Demuredelight said
Adding a short example of a significant impact chess had on you would be excellent,, such as winning a tournament maybe?
just a suggestion for you, hope this helps! :)

I kinda feel that the ending is corny. Otherwise a solid idea.

qomoco
hey
para is the short form for paragraph^^