UC personal statement- prompt#1
Please help me, be brutally honest if you need to, i need all the feedback i can get. thank you!
Describe the world you come from- for example, your family,community or school- and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
The world I come from is another way to say inspiration in my world. The world I come from and the world I am right now are very different. I was born in a small town in Zacatecas, Mexico where life can be hard. In my surroundings I would see faces with the attitude of success. Long roads full of trees and dirt would make things impossible to accomplish, but those who tried anything to bring food to their family were my inspiration. The people in my community made things out of nothing, and that's what I would do with toys I didn't have. They would use what other people thought it was worthless as something useful for them. Working on the fields was their way make money to support their family. As young as I was, I knew I wanted my future to be different. Not because I didn't like the life style I used to have, but to help my community in my future.
Before turning ten my world had a dramatic change. I moved from the place I grew up in to the city of Los Angeles, California for a better future. My parents always said life was going to be easier, but I wouldn't see the positive side of their words. Ever since I started school in the United States I knew that life was going to be a challenge. My days in Elementary school were the worst. My teachers were never satisfied with the quality of my work, but as hard as I tried it was difficult for me to get used to my new life. Not knowing English was my biggest fear, I felt useless. My days instead of being bright and positive were dark and full of negativity and disappointment. I felt like giving up and I even considered the idea of going back to Mexico. Then I remembered the place I grew up in, there wasn't such thing as giving up. Before going to sleep I would set my thoughts together, some tears would roll down my cheeks for feeling lost. All I wanted was to discover and start on my future path and staying strong was my only option.
In my early teenage years there were so many wrong decisions I could have made. Young kids were being negatively influenced to try drugs at a young age and being gang related. I was brave enough to stay away from them because my parents always taught me the good and the bad things of life. Deep inside me I wanted something different; I wanted to feel good about myself without making the wrong decisions. I wanted to be successful in life. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I wanted to stay positive and more because I wanted to make my parents proud. Ever since I was little I was always interested in a good future and education, but my community was a distraction and would affect my goals by the people that were surrounding me. They had different goals in mind. It was a challenge staying positive while being surrounded with negativity.
I learned from other people's mistakes to never give up on my education and dreams. Keeping my goals and aspirations was what I wanted to accomplish. My parents have always been strict and supportive. The world we come from guided their beliefs and expectations that they had towards me. Their expectations and beliefs made me choose the right decisions towards my future. My new lifestyle was a challenge, but a motivation at the same time. It was the best example to guide me through on the new adventures and knowledge I was looking for. I had my parents support with me and they as well as my community shaped my ideas and inspirations for my future.
Please help me, be brutally honest if you need to, i need all the feedback i can get. thank you!
Describe the world you come from- for example, your family,community or school- and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
The world I come from is another way to say inspiration in my world. The world I come from and the world I am right now are very different. I was born in a small town in Zacatecas, Mexico where life can be hard. In my surroundings I would see faces with the attitude of success. Long roads full of trees and dirt would make things impossible to accomplish, but those who tried anything to bring food to their family were my inspiration. The people in my community made things out of nothing, and that's what I would do with toys I didn't have. They would use what other people thought it was worthless as something useful for them. Working on the fields was their way make money to support their family. As young as I was, I knew I wanted my future to be different. Not because I didn't like the life style I used to have, but to help my community in my future.
Before turning ten my world had a dramatic change. I moved from the place I grew up in to the city of Los Angeles, California for a better future. My parents always said life was going to be easier, but I wouldn't see the positive side of their words. Ever since I started school in the United States I knew that life was going to be a challenge. My days in Elementary school were the worst. My teachers were never satisfied with the quality of my work, but as hard as I tried it was difficult for me to get used to my new life. Not knowing English was my biggest fear, I felt useless. My days instead of being bright and positive were dark and full of negativity and disappointment. I felt like giving up and I even considered the idea of going back to Mexico. Then I remembered the place I grew up in, there wasn't such thing as giving up. Before going to sleep I would set my thoughts together, some tears would roll down my cheeks for feeling lost. All I wanted was to discover and start on my future path and staying strong was my only option.
In my early teenage years there were so many wrong decisions I could have made. Young kids were being negatively influenced to try drugs at a young age and being gang related. I was brave enough to stay away from them because my parents always taught me the good and the bad things of life. Deep inside me I wanted something different; I wanted to feel good about myself without making the wrong decisions. I wanted to be successful in life. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I wanted to stay positive and more because I wanted to make my parents proud. Ever since I was little I was always interested in a good future and education, but my community was a distraction and would affect my goals by the people that were surrounding me. They had different goals in mind. It was a challenge staying positive while being surrounded with negativity.
I learned from other people's mistakes to never give up on my education and dreams. Keeping my goals and aspirations was what I wanted to accomplish. My parents have always been strict and supportive. The world we come from guided their beliefs and expectations that they had towards me. Their expectations and beliefs made me choose the right decisions towards my future. My new lifestyle was a challenge, but a motivation at the same time. It was the best example to guide me through on the new adventures and knowledge I was looking for. I had my parents support with me and they as well as my community shaped my ideas and inspirations for my future.
Do You Need