"the Intensive Care Unit" - Common app short answer

Hello. I'm an international student from South Korea. I do not have much background about grammar and mechanical skills. So, please help me out to make better short answer. I welcome to get every comment for this short essay thanks.

Ragged clothing, enervating appearance, and powerless hands pleaded forrelief his condition.
"Don't worry; I will do everything for you. Your job is just holding your spot for me, okay?" I said.
Then I wipe off his body to make him feel better. With a smile from a haggard face he thanked to me and he follows my direction as well to serve him easier.

As I enter into the Intensive Care Unit, people are moving busily to serve patients faster.
Other volunteers already started serving patients. At Ulsan University Hospital, I'm a volunteer, who take care patients to keep good condition for them to cure their diseases.

While, this service can be regarded as a hard work, I recognize them as extremely penetrative as I can take some time to learn how much precious our life and strike up a conversation with people from various fields.

hi gorush 1:
i think you should focus more on the verb tenses:

he thanked to me and he followed my

Then I wiped off his body to make him feel better.

when I entered the Intensive Care Unit, people were
moving busily to serve patients.

who take care of the patients to keep them in good condition.

thanks for proofread. I know that I still confused the verb tense stuff.
But, thanks for helping me out. Do you find any other errors? or Is it okay if I fix these errors?

Great corrections, Bilal.

They do not plead for his condition. They plead for relief.

Ragged clothing, enervating appearance, and powerless hands pleaded for relief from his condition.

Then I wipe off his body to make him feel better.

Yes, let's see a new draft and we'll be able to tell if you fixed everything. You could even keep all the verbs in the present tense if you want to... as long as they are consistent.

Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. do you think that I fixed everything? If you think that I have mroe problem, please write everything for me thanks.

"relief of his condition"

"Other volunteers already started serving patients. At Ulsan University Hospital, I'm a volunteer, who take care patients to keep good condition for them to cure their diseases."

Try revising the sentence to:

Other volunteers already started serving patients. At Ulsan University Hospital, I'm a volunteer, who takes care of patients, keeping them in good condition so they can be cured.

I like it though