My interest in Mathematics & Computer Science- UIUC Undergraduate

Question:

Explain your interest in the major you selected.

Describe an experience related to that area of study, what first introduced you to this field, and/or your future career goals. Limit your response to 300-400 words.

Response: My interest in Computer Science developed in 11th grade. On my way to school, I sat next to my friend who used to write codes on the bus. At first, I could not understand what he was typing, but after seeing him run the program codes, I realized that it was something related to mathematics. As I am a math lover, I assisted him in writing codes that involved complex mathematical logic. We would become very happy when our logic worked and the program ran successfully. Gradually, my interest in Computer Science increased, and I decided to change my optional subject from Economics to Computer Science.

When I sat in the Computer Science classes, I had set a goal in my mind to learn to code. Although it was difficult for me to learn the basics of the language at first, I put in a lot of efforts to learn C++ through online courses and the help of my peers. During this process, I could appreciate the beauty of Computer Science and the numerous ways in which technology can help mankind. After graduating high school, I have explored Computer Science and learned to program in Java and C. I have also tried to understand the real world applications of coding through projects such as home automation using Arduino.

My interest in Mathematics developed due to my love for solving problems. A lot of my childhood days were spent playing math games and challenges with my mom such as Sudoku. I was also learning the abacus around that time, which furthered my interest in numbers and calculations. Later in my high school, I relished the opportunity to further my interest in Mathematics. I took part in math competitions and exhibitions held at my school. I also worked on a project which incorporated fundamental concepts of physics and mathematics to show how to score a basket. This was the first time, I was able to use some abstruse formulas in a real-world situation.

At UIUC, I desire to major in Mathematics & Computer Science which will enable me to explore areas such as Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning. To create something useful is an expression of great value, leading to a door of infinite possibilities. The abundant research opportunities at UIUC will help me fulfil my goal of creating something useful.

maybe talk more about why you choose UIUC, what makes its CS and Math major so special than other schools that also have strong Math & CS programs?

Punya, your first 3 paragraphs are extremely focused on the foundation of your love for CS and Math. That is a very good thing to display in this essay. However, you seem to have lost steam by the time it came for you to discuss your future career goals. It became too generalized in reference, without a clear path cut out for you. You may want to consider developing that a little further since you have about 12 more words to use in this essay. By indicating a career goal for yourself, you will show the reviewer that you have definite ideas as to how you want to spend your life both during and after college. The reviewer is looking for the reason behind your determination to complete this course. Therefore, you need to present a solid career goal. Yes, even it is listed as optional in the prompt. Believe me, it will strengthen your essay. You can change your career goals later on anyway. Right now, it is the justification that is important.

Your career goal needs to be more than just "to create something useful". It has to be something like, "After graduation, I have set my mind to creating my own start up company that will specialize in developing home automation systems for the elderly" or something like that. Give yourself a career focus and goal. Not just a desire to complete the course hoping to do something with it.

I would suggest maybe writing more about what you wish to do in the world through computer engineering. For example, it could be something like I enjoy playing games so I want to program games to share this joy with others. If there is a specific experience that you can expand on, that could be great too. Also suggest adding something about what makes UIUC, and not other engineering schools, fit for your career path (doesn't have to be specific, maybe mention a certain coding related curriculum in UIUC).

Since this is an essay for UIUC, I would suggest including some specific details about UIUC's program that makes you interested in them. Maybe mention a specific class or a professor who does research in Artificial intelligence so that they see you have a concrete interest in UIUC.