Interest in transferring - What I felt I was always missing

Please tell the Admissions Committee about your college experience and interest in transferring to our school:

My college experience up until this point has been adequate at best. I surely do not believe that I've truly experienced college, or the college life. Both colleges I have attended up until this point have felt like mediocre extensions of high school. Aesthetically speaking, Seattle Central Community College shared the same appeal of an impoverished inner city school. My instructors at both SPC and SCCC were as much as I could ask for given the resources of these schools. What I felt I was always missing in my college experience was a nice campus, graduate oppourtunities, opportunities to discover, encouragement to discover, and an all around university community experience. If there is more that comes with attending a university on the tier of *NAME OF SCHOOL*, then I am ignorant to it and could only be all the more appreciative.

My interest in transferring to *NAME OF SCHOOL* includes the aforementioned university experience, and the future graduate opportunities. Recently, I visited my friend at his university; prior to my visitation I had no idea what to expect of a university. To my surprise, students were everywhere, there were a number of research buildings, the campus was beautiful, and on campus housing was lively and social. Students were a part of something bigger as they proudly wore the schools mascot on their sweatshirts. The environment was condusive to learning, exploring, and creating a professional network.

My more notable interest in transferring to *NAME OF SCHOOL* is so that I can eventually pursue graduate school, and in the process of doing so, utilize university resources to experiment and create. My ultimate career goal for *NAME OF SCHOOL* is to move forward to either an MBA or onto medical school so that I may become an anesthesiologist. During my lengthy academic stay at *NAME OF SCHOOL* I would continue working on a few challenging entrepreneurial projects that hold my intellectual interest; projects that I would like to get faculty and student input on. I'd like to be given opportunities to not only share my ideas with other students, but to hear other students' ideas. As previously stated, I know there is a lot more available to me at a university than I am aware of. I would not like to limit myself, I would be more than open to any other university opportunities that I could experience.

To balance out my studious and inventive side, I also participate in a few sports. I've been snowboarding and riding dirt bikes for around 7-10 years. In addition, I practice a rigourous training schedule including up to 100 miles of running a week. I find ample reward in taking a risk on my snowboard or dirt bike. The feeling I get when I'm flying through the air is nearly indescribable; it's the ultimate freedom. There's a saying amongst dirt bike riders, which I feel also applies to snowboarding, "it's not a matter of if, but when you'll go down". I've experienced that quote first hand, having broken a number of bones and straining several joints. That quote to me in a way reflects life. I know that some days I will crash and get hurt, possibly severely, but I know that I will continue trying to land that jump, or that trick until I do.

Overall, I think you have a good direction. I would refrain from speaking negatively about your previous two schools, since this may convey the idea that you will never be satisfied with what you have and will always see the grass is greener on the other side.

Now, having said that, I think you should concentrate on the positive aspects that transferring would be to you, such as the research opportunities or the graduate programs.


You could probably do away with this kind of statement. I see what you are getting at, but treat this essay like you would a job interview. You would never use the word ignorant about yourself in a job interview, and probably shouldn't here. Another way to phrase this idea would be:

"I know there are many more possibilities and benefits to attending *NAME OF SCHOOL* and I am excited to explore them all."

Or something like that. Again, play up how this transfer will benefit you in a way that your current school and your past school did not. Also, I think if you explain why you will finish your degree with *NAME OF SCHOOL* then you will allay concerns that you are just passing through without an idea of what you really want.

Hope some of this helps- I am a transfer applicant as well, so I understand where you are coming from in your essay. Good luck!

...includes the aforementioned university experience and the future graduate opportunities. Recently, I visited my ...

To my surprise, students were everywhere, there were a number of research buildings, a beautiful campus, and on campus housing was lively and social. Students were a part of something bigger as they proudly wore the schools mascot on their sweatshirts. The environment was conducive to learning, exploring, and creating a professional network.

My more notable interest in transferring to *NAME OF SCHOOL* is so that I can eventually pursue graduate school, and in the process of doing so (no comma necessary here) utilize university resources to experiment and create.

To balance out my studious and inventive sides , I also participate in a few sports. I've been snowboarding and riding dirt bikes for around 7-10 years almost a decade. In addition, I practice a rigourous training schedule including up to 100 miles of running a week. WOW!!

This is a nicely written essay; I like your natural, conversational style.