"Interests in all things foreign/different" - Stanford Essay - Roommate

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better. (1800 characters)

Hello Future Roommate,

My name's Brian Seamus Deely.
Before you ask how to read my middle name, I will tell you it goes something like "Shay-mus". It's kind of like the John Smith of Irish names. I tend to think middle names are pretty useless since we never use them, but in my case it reminds me where my family came from...at least when I'm filling forms out at the DMV.

First off, I'll just get the serious stuff out of the way. I think part of living with other people is about respecting each other and taking an interest in the well-being of those around us. So whether my music's too loud or we need to both do an emergency bathroom cleanup before a girlfriend comes over or anything more serious, all we need to do is keep the lines of communication open and I'm sure most anything can be taken care of.

And now I'll get to the nitty-gritty of who I am.
I am very talkative. Not the annoying kind of talkative where I talk about anything, but the kind of talkative that connects dots between seemingly unconnected things and where no angle isn't looked at. A lot of times I might seem to be veering off in a completely different direction in a conversation, but I assure you I will take you for a ride and it'll all end safely somewhere close to where we started...kind of like a roller-coaster :)

Another thing that you'll notice about me is that unless I really must use English, I will probably be doing everything else possible in Japanese. Over the past few years I've been working on sort of adopting Japanese. I guess you could call it my "foster-language." I don't expect you to adopt it along with me, but I hope that you can share some of the same interests I have in all things foreign/different.

Have a safe trip to campus.

Sincerely,
Brian

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Basically, does this show enough personality?
I didn't show too many real examples, but should I try to show some? Especially with the whole connecting the dots/talkative bit.

Generally, you don't have any syntax or grammatical errors. I really love the "Japanese" part because it really pique my interest to get to know you as a person. The "respect each other" part really show me some of your values.

As for the "talkative bits," I feel like you're rambling all over, which is the opposite of the image you want to convey. You've already caught on to this, but I suggest you give some succinct examples or delete that part altogether since you're already convey how unique you are through the "Jap" section. Maybe you'd want to add on to the "Jap" section about why did you decide to adopt the language or stuffs that further develop your personalities.

Good luck! If you have some time, look at mine.

Actually, the Japanese bit is so deep, I actually turned it into my "what intellectual vitality do you have?" answer.

I'm a transfer student and on my summers off from school I traveled to Japan and applied to universities there (and got accepted, but it's uber-expensive, can't transfer credits, etc...didn't end up going). So, I figured I'd save some more info for the other question. But yeah, I guess I could add more even for the roommate bit.

The whole Japanese/International part is such a big part for me to the point that I don't feel it's bad to use it multiple times.

But what do you think?