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International student from Korea - my English wouldn't develop there - advice on my entrance essay



kye009 3 / 2  
Sep 1, 2008   #1
It has been a long time when I left my home country Korea to get better or education that I could satisfy. Since it's been several years, I asked myself what is different in getting education between Korean and foreign countries. First of all, I was really wanted to speak English so bad, but my home country's educational system could not effort me to speak English. It's disappointing me that I have to say so but in fact, even English teachers in Korea could not speak English. There might be various reasons to be like that. But I will not comment it any more in this essay. However it was main reason that I had to gave up getting an education in Korea.

First country that I had education was a Philippine. The main reason I had choose "Philippine" was Philippine's main language was English. It was really wonderful time and good experience to be enrolled in school where uses English. And I had a challenged in English from a Philippine student. After spend a year in Philippine I could have an opportunity that I enroll in Fairview International School in Malaysia. The reason that I transferred to that school was they got better English system which native English speaker teach as an English teacher. After I had finished language course from a foreign counties, I had to face a first difficulty of my life. I had not got a high school diploma when my age got old enough to go to college. Well I am the one who think education is an most important sources during my lives. And I did not just have a one paper "high school diploma. I had cried and cried again and again. But like there is always hope, I just heard about GED test which gives high school diploma. Since I had heard about GED, I had studied and studied day and night. And I just passed GED test and just got a diploma. "Thanks God" I repeated. From an experience of failure, I decided to study at USA where main language is English and gives a diploma. I just got letter of acceptance from "College of Lake County"; community college. And I packed up to leave another adventure of life.

My major is an undecided right now at College of Lake County. During attending that college, I always had a conflict in my mind that cares about which major I should study. Last year I had found what I want to study. It is "the Art" Last year I had wall painting assignment from a church and had found myself that I have an talents on art. And honestly my favorite class was an art class; I never got boring and disappointed whenever I had art assignment. For me, art is energy of life and goals of my life. I am not one who professional at art but to be a professional, I decided to apply "California College of art"

I just began my portfolio.

The world is not place where men or women live alone. It must be together and I think we have to help each other therefore during my high school years I participated volunteers for community service whenever I had time. And when I lived in Philippine I helped church for teaching bible and giving the necessities of life to poor people. And when I was in Malaysia I used to go to orphanage and I played with orphan people. And Since I came to America I was kindergarten bible teacher at Korean church. I always dreamed that I become a person who has to be necessary for community rather than just rich or luxury person.

My goals after I graduate college are that I could design the fancy accessories. I am the one who crazy at little materials like fancy accessories. Whenever I saw that kind of little fancy things I could not stop myself to buy it. And I used to imagine that it might be better if one that I bought was this or that color. And that was why I wanted to design fancy accessories.

EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Sep 1, 2008   #2
Good job. You give a good explanation of why you want to get into the program, and of telling your history of how you got to where you are. Some changes are needed, and a little clarification in a few places, but overall you've got a good essay. Keep up your hard work.
OP kye009 3 / 2  
Sep 1, 2008   #3
Thank You So much
It helps me a lot^^
rkazino - / 1  
Nov 26, 2009   #4
English Grad Studies, "Born in USSR" - proofreading my SoP

Hello everybody!

I am an international student applying to Graduate program in English.. I feel a bit worried about my statement of purpose, whether I missed some important points or made stylistic/grammar mistakes..

Can I please post my essay here in order to be reviewed?

Thank you and happy holidays!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 27, 2009   #5
Hi Sophia! Yes you can, and you can also look through the many other personal statements here at EssayForum to get ideas. Also, please help a few other people by giving your ideas about their essays; your experience as an international student makes you especially prepared to help some of our other multinational and bilingual essay writers.

Kind regards!!!


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